Precious Commodity
by Lattelady
Summary: 2006 BEST OF RAYNE NOMINEE. The crew of Serenity is wounded and hurt, only Jayne can help River as she hides from Alliance troops in the borken ship after the battle at the end of the movie. Mal and Inara move along their path to one a
1. Echoes

11

**Disclaimer: **They belong to Joss. I just want to let them out to play and make them happy.

**Rating: **Pg-13

**Pairing: **R/J; M/I

**Time period/Spoilers:** Post BDM

**Notes: **This little story had been sitting on my desktop, only 3 pages long until I did the music video _'River In The Wings'_. It inspired me, thank goodness. Two paragraphs of this story dovetail with my Mal/Inara story _'Walking With The Dead'_.

**Beta: **TamSibling

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Precious Commodity**_

By

_Lattelady_

_**Ch 1 Echoes**_

_  
Lawrence Dobson, Alliance mole said to Jayne Cobb, mercenary, in __'Serenity' the __'Firefly' pilot – "That girl is a __**precious commodity**. They'll come after her."  
_

_**1 year later:**_

Jayne Cobb fought the need for sleep and the throb of pain in his shoulder. He was the hired gun, the muscle, so it was his job to watch over the others. The med tent the Alliance had set up for the wounded crew of _Serenity_ was small, dark and drafty. The Tech who had been assigned to tend their wounds and see to it that they survived the night, sat comfortably in a small attached tent, with the only warming unit turned on high. It had been the Operative's order that these people live and the Medic had done all he could for them surgically, but he wasn't going to share his only means of warmth with a boatload of scum his friends had been trying to kill hours earlier.

The sound of someone entering their tent put Jayne on the alert. Vigilance had kept him alive for years and bein' in the gorramn care of the Alliance just made him plum twitchy. He could tell by the quiet movements that it wasn't the heavy-footed medic. A stench of blood tickled his nose and ran along his senses. It sent his hand quietly searching for Vera, only to come up empty.

The big mercenary carefully peeked through a screen of lashes. It was a trick he'd learned long ago and one that had saved his life on more than one occasion. Adrenaline rushed through his system when he focused on the small slim girl as she crept closer to the cot Kaylee had shoved against Simon's bed so she could hold his hand as they slept.

River Tam was spattered in dried blood, some of it her own, most of it Reaver. Her hair was a mess and she was still wearing her tattered dress from hours earlier. It made Jayne's stomach turn to see her like that. He instinctively gathered his strength to spring, though he knew he didn't stand a chance if she had a mind to do some killin'. She'd already taken him down twice in the last few days, t'weren't any reason she couldn't do it again.

"Sleep," the girl muttered as she placed a gentle hand on Simon's shoulder and another one on Kaylee's. "Sleep and be happy together."

Jayne let out a quiet breath, but kept watchin'. It didn't seem right that the person who had saved them from a passel of Reavers should be wanderin' around alone in the dark, but he didn't know what to do about it.

"River," Inara looked up from where she sat on the cold ground beside Mal's cot. She'd been gently stroking his cheek and whispering words meant to quiet the Captain's restless sleep, though she doubted she was helping anyone as she sat shivering from exhaustion and shock. The thin gold costume that had been perfect for tournaments on Core worlds had been little protection in real battle and did nothing to keep her warm now.

"Shhhhh," the girl whimpered and jumped. "Noooo, not River." Jayne saw fear flash across her dirty, blood spattered face. It was bone deep, soul chillin' fear, none of the crazy mixed-up confused kind she'd been hollerin' about ever since she'd popped outta the cold sleep box almost a year back.

"I didn't mean to startle you." Inara's big brown eyes looked up at the battered girl. "But you need medical attention."

"Out of sight, out of mind," the girl reasoned as she quickly scanned the perimeters of the tent, instinctively checking every exit and escape route. Her mind was filled with images, some hers, most belonging to others. Thankfully, since the fight in the Maidenhead, it was easier for her to tell the difference.

"I…" Inara blinked, trying to make sense of what River was saying. She knew she should understand her, but her innate ability to read people wasn't working. She could usually get the gist of what the girl said, but tonight it was like staring at a blank wall. All she could think about was how easily things could have turned out differently. If they had, she might be sitting in this tent trying to draw comfort from a dead man, instead of an injured one. Her mind kept crying out Mal's name. The memory was strong of how right it had felt to run from _Serenity_ with Reavers hot on their trail and full knowledge she was probably following him to her death. It was that moment she had realized she'd rather die fighting beside him, than live a long life alone.

"He is walking with the dead, and now there are three new bodies added to those he has already lost." River knelt beside Inara. "The Captain is cold and so are you. Share your body heat to make his journey more bearable and ease your pain as well."

"River…" All of the sudden Inara understood the child's meaning. She knew River had psychic abilities but doubted they were needed tonight. The Companion was sure her face was filled with raw emotion instead of her usual calm mask.

"It's what you both want and need." The girl encouraged as she moved gracefully to a corner of the tent and seemed to become part of the shadows.

Jayne blinked trying to distinguish River from the darkness. He couldn't see her, but he could still smell her. There was the scent of blood, and under that was something else. Something he'd smelled before, but never admitted…the smell of woman…But this was River Tam he was thinkin' on, the scrawny, moon-brained kid…. When had all that changed? When had he begun thinkin' about her as a woman?

'_When the crash doors opened and she was standing atop them Reaver bodies, with a weapon that dripped dark crimson, held tight in each hand?'_ he asked himself, but shook his head. If he was honest, he knew she'd been on his mind much longer than that. Though if she hadn't, he was sure that would have done the trick. The girl had been a sight to behold! Like one of them goddesses of war he'd heard tell about from the ancient times when Earth-That-Was was young. Just thinkin about it made his groin tighten…just like that day she'd popped outta the box in the hold. She'd gotten his attention right quick that day….

Movement caught his eye and he watched with a bit of awe as Inara crawled onto Mal's cot and put her arm around him as if she'd never let go. '_Well if that don't just beat all,'_ he grinned. '_Maybe some good'll come outta all of this.'_

Jayne's eyes swept the sleepin' occupants of the tent. It looked as if everyone was restin' peaceful like. His shoulder hurt, from where he'd been shot, but the bullet had gone clean through and all he'd needed was a washing and bandaging, not like the rest of the crew.

A quick look around his cot and he realized his clothes were nowhere to be found. "Gorramnit," he muttered. Pants and shirts that fit him were hard to come by. He hoped that weasel of an Alliance Tech had them stashed somewhere. He figured if he concentrated on tryin' to get outta that tent, it would keep his mind off of little girl-women he had no business thinkin' about and allow him to sleep in his own bunk instead of an Alliance tent.

"No, Baby, nooooo," Zoë cried out in her sleep. Jayne knew she needed tendin', but didn't have a clue what to do. Suddenly River was beside the restless woman.

"Shhh," the girl whispered as she placed her hands on Zoë's shoulders. "Dream good dreams and sleep, Wash is watching over you and always will be."

"What'reya doin', River?" Jayne looked at the girl standing between his cot and Zo's.

"Hush," the girl placed a finger to her lips and frowned over her shoulder at the big man. Then she turned her attention back to Zoë and placed a gentle hand on the wounded woman's matted curls. "Sleep," she whispered. "Sleep, tomorrow is time enough to grieve."

The thump of heavy boots from the other tent caused River to leap to her feet, a look of pure terror on her face.

"Skedaddle, girl," Jayne grunted the words and jerked his head to the small separation in the tent beside his bed. When he was sure she was out of sight he turned back to the man makin' his rounds. "What ya do with my pants?"

…………………….

It hadn't taken much to get the medic to give him back his clothes. They stunk of Reavers and death that even a good cleanin' might not get out. With a shrug Jayne quickly dressed, reminding himself he'd worn worse in his lifetime and probably would again. It was the argument over Vera that almost led to a fight, but the Tech backed down when he realized that, even wounded, the mercenary could easily take him.

Once dressed, and toting his favorite gun, Jayne did a quick check on his sleeping companions. He didn't know what River had done to them, but they all appeared to be resting peacefully. He fought a grin when he watched Mal and Inara snuggle closer together in their sleep. "Now if we can only get them like that when they's awake, we might get some rest on that gorramn boat of ours," he muttered as he headed back to _Serenity_.

The boat was a mess andJayne doubted they'd ever get her in the Black again. He tried switches and controls as he went along, but nothing seemed to be working. It didn't take no genus mechanic to know that the engine weren't turning and without that they had no power. With a grunt the big man headed to his bunk where he knew he'd find clean clothes and a flashlight.

"Damn it's darker than the inside of a cow in here," he muttered as he stumbled over his things strewn across the floor of his bunk. It took him a while, but he found what he needed. With a resolve he didn't know he had he headed out again. As good as it would have felt to curl up on his mattress on the floor, he knew he wouldn't get any sleep with that girl running around all alone out there. He didn't care if she could take on a whole boat load of Reavers, it weren't right.

"River," Jayne called as he shined the beam of his flashlight along the twisted mess that was between the crew quarters and the guest accommodations. "You in here, Crazy-girl?"

He couldn't get the haunted look that had crossed her face out of his mind. He'd seen her afraid a number of times in the past. Usually it was mindless fear that sent her into peals of screaming and hysteria. Only once had he seen her as afraid as she'd been tonight and that had been on Ariel when she'd run from the Blue Hands. It made his gut wrench to remember how close she'd come to bein' recaptured and his part in it.

He finally found her pressed into a corner of the storage locker off the main room. The same place Mal had cuffed her after the fight in the Maidenhead.

"Go away," River cried and blinked from the bright light he shined on her. She held a large gun pressed to her head with her finger on the trigger. "I'll shoot if you come any closer."

"River girl, it's me, Jayne." He tried to talk calmly as he knew Simon would. "I'm not gonna hurt'cha."

"Are you alone?" She tried to look around him, but he blocked the entrance.

"Yeah, it's just me." He knelt and reached for the gun that she was slowly lowering to her lap. "Why don'tcha give me that for safe keepin'. It can keep Vera company." His large gun was at his side within easy reach in case things went bad.

"No, no," she shook her head and held the weapon tightly as if it were her only protection. "I'm not going back, they cannot make me. I will die first."

"Course ya ain't goin' back. We won't let them take ya. We'd fight for ya don't ya, know that?" '_No, she probably didn't know that, at least she didn't know he'd never let her be taken. He'd been too vocal in the past about her leavin'.' _"I didn't mean what I said when I told the others we shoulda left you in the Maidenhead."

He could feel fear radiating off of her like a living thing and he didn't understand it. She'd faced Reavers without flinching and he'd seen the look on her face when she was standing on a pile of their dead bodies and the Alliance had broken through the wall behind her. As the soldiers had been waiting for the kill order River Tam had been getting ready to spring into action. She and the crew of _Serenity_ might have been killed if the order had been given, but she would have taken a few of them Alliance boys with her.

"You recognized me as the weapon I have become," she whispered. "You were afraid for all of you. I bring death wherever I go."

"Tain't your fault what they done ta ya." Jayne had to think for a moment what they'd been talking about, 'cause his mind had been too focused on River to really listen. "Now gorramnit, let me at least put the safety on the gun. I don't want no accidents." He reached over and moved her small hand aside and one of his large callused fingers flicked a delicate button under the trigger guard.

"If they come for me, you must hide." She looked up at him serious and determined.

"What kinda _hundan_ ya take me for anyway. They come, you hide!" He glared at her. "I thought you was some kinda genus, they ain't coming. That Alliance man said it was over, finished."

"It will not be finished until we are away from this place." River fought to suppress a shiver, whether it was from cold or fear she didn't know. "They want their weapon back, or dead, so that their secrets are safe."

"That why you're hidin'?" It made sense, but Jayne didn't want her dyin' on him neither, and she had begun to tremble again. Her wounds needed tendin' to. She had a nasty bite on her shoulder and a gash on her forehead. He was sure there were more he couldn't see. He hated to think what kinda sickness she might get from a Reaver bite. She might not want to go to the Alliance med-tent, but she needed to get cleaned up.

"If they find me now, they have the means to make me go back with them."

"Whatcha talkin about?" Jayne frowned. He didn't trust much of anyone especially the Alliance, but he didn't see what that had to do with it. They'd run from the Alliance plenty of times. Sure it would be harder with no ship, but they'd stand and fight if they had to.

"They have Simon, and Kaylee," her voice hitched and she bit her lip as tears filled her eyes. "They have the Captain, Inara, you and Zoë under their guns. With any of these people they could make me do as they pleased. Why do you think I was willing to leave _Serenity_ two days ago? Then it would have only been Simon I had to worry about."

"You was afraid for us? Now, girl, that plain don't make no sense!" Though he knew it did, but wanted to get her out of the dark cold corner she'd retreated to. "And besides, I don't belong on that list. I'da turned you in if I'd had the chance."

"No you wouldn't. Jayne forgets that I am a reader. I know your thoughts."

"_Cao_, you stay outta my mind, it's no place for a little girl like you to be wanderin' around," he fumed. "If you won't let that Alliance medic tend ya, let me take ya to Doc's infirmary and see if we can find something ta clean up them wounds." He held out his hand as he'd learned to do when gentling wild colts on his pa's ranch.

River gripped her gun and carefully watched Jayne with large brown eyes, which looked at him as if he held the secret to the 'verse. She wanted badly to delve into his mind, but she didn't. Feelings and thoughts often scattered around her, but she never intentionally sought them out. It was too confusing.

Then a memory surfaced and she instantly knew it belonged to her. She had been in the Maidenhead and something had flashed through her mind, something that had split her in two and had driven her to move, to fight. The little part of her that had still clung to sanity did what she had always done when the Alliance had played its games with her mind: _she thought about dancing_. The part of her that was still River had danced an elaborate ballet while the weapon she'd become had killed and maimed. Then Jayne had been there, had been fighting beside her and finally he had tried to subdue her.

"You helped me," she gasped as her fingers touched his hand. "You grounded me so I was able to separate the dance from the echo," River whispered as she let Jayne help her to her feet. "I am sorry I injured you."

"If I was such a help, why'd ya have to twist my balls?" He knew instantly what she was talkin' about. It had been exhilarating to watch her fight and desire had ripped through him when he had joined her in battle. Then when he'd grabbed her compact body tightly against his he'd been shot through with a throbbing sexual need that had split his concentration and almost brought him to his knees.

"You were in danger. I did not want the man behind us to kill you." She turned to him, clear-eyed and sane. He knew she was telling the truth.

"I missed a guy behind us?" He'd been fighting her and the pleasure that sang in his veins and hadn't been as careful as he should have been.

"He had a knife," she whispered, still remembering how safe it had felt to have the big man's arms around her. "I did not think you would listen to reason at that moment."

"Then I guess I should say thank you," he nodded. She was such a tiny thing and he hated that she'd been able to take him down, not once, but twice.

"Wait!" River panicked as they were about to leave the storage area. "You must promise me that if they come, and I can't do so myself, you will kill me."

"River I can't…" His hand covered hers on the gun she refused to relinquish.

"Yes you can!" Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. "You are the only one who could. Simon would rather die than see me taken. Kaylee barely has the heart to pull the trigger to save herself. It would break her to put a bullet in me. Zoë is in no condition, nor is Inara. Both have damaged hearts and they wouldn't see what needed to be done until it was too late. The Captain…he could do it, but it would send him into blackness much worse than the one he is working his way back from. Jayne, you are the only one." She put her small hand over his heart. "You were on Ariel, you saw what they did to me. Promise me that you won't let me go back to that."

"You got my word," he sighed as he put his arm around her to steady her as they moved through the twisted wreck that was their ship. He figured since she was a reader he didn't need to tell her that if it came to a battle, them Alliance soldiers would have to take him out to get her. It was likely they'd both die.

……………………………….

River sat shivering on Simon's exam table as Jayne carefully unzipped the back of her dress.

"You're a mess, girl." His voice broke when he saw that she was bloodied and bruised under the soft green material. "I'd tell ya to take a shower, but we got no power on this boat. The water would be colder than milk from a witch's tit."

"It would be the wise thing to do though," River bit her lip to keep from laughing at the mental picture that Jayne's words had caused to form in her mind. "I would get clean and be able to wash the blood out of my hair, though I've never used witch's milk for shampoo."

"You laughin at me, girl?" Jayne tried to sound ferocious, but ended up chuckling.

"It would appear that I am." She looked at him over her shoulder. "Is there much damage done?"

"Yes," he grunted, all humor gone as he remembered how she'd looked when she'd tossed the medical kit through the door and tried to dive through after it, only to be pulled back by Reavers as the blast doors closed her out.

"I am all right, though," she turned and knelt on the table until she was facing the large mercenary. She felt safe in his company, or as safe as she could feel with a battalion of Alliance troops between them and the Black. "The Reavers did only minimal damage. I am sore, and very tired. Please help me take care of this so I can try to sleep."

"What do you want me to do?" He couldn't take his eyes off her face. The flashlight between them was casting shadows everywhere. He knew she had to be exhausted, physically and emotionally.

"Simon keeps antiseptic soap in the cupboard above the sink. Would you reach it for me?" She was as caught up in him as he was in her. She had fought and killed. It made her blood throb. Standing inches away was a man who knew the power of the things she was feeling. She'd recognized it when he'd held her tightly trying to stop the bar fight she'd started. It had called to her then as it was doing now.

"Ah…yeah, sure," his voice caught in his throat as he pulled away from her and searched for the item she needed.

When she slid down from the table a small moan escaped her lips, but not Jayne's attention. "I thought you said you was all right?"

"I am stiff that is all." She pressed one hand to the neckline of her dress. They had both forgotten he'd unzipped it and left the back hanging open when he'd checked her for injuries.

"If you can you make it to the shower on your own, I'll see if I can scrounge up somethin' warm for you to wear. I got no idea what's in one piece on this ship, anymore." He didn't like the idea of her going alone, but he wanted her clean and dry as soon as possible. At least that was what he told himself. A scantily dressed River was playing havoc with his insides and he didn't like it one bit.

"I am sore, not dead." She rolled her eyes at him, and gave him the look she usually reserved for Simon, the one that said louder than words that someone was acting like a 'boob'. But since this was Jayne and not her brother, she added gently, "I would appreciate your help in finding me something warmer to wear."

"Here's the soap and I found some ointment, too." The words caught in his throat as he watched her expression shift from playful to something very gentle. "Do you want the flashlight?"

"You take it, I can bathe in the dark, but you might need it in your search." She edged toward the door, the container of antiseptic soap in one hand and the gun in the other. She could feel his eyes on her weapon and it made her tremble.

"River," he blocked her exit from the room. He looked large and deadly with Vera slung over his shoulder and a grim expression on his face.

"Please, Jayne," her eyes filled but she blinked back the tears. "I can't do this otherwise." Every nerve in her body was screaming to run, and hide, to bury herself in the depths of the storage closet where he'd found her or wrap her arms around the man, standing inches away, until she had become a part of him. Neither was an option so she clung to her gun with her chin held high.

"I won't let them take you, River, I promise." He watched her as she absorbed his words. "Now you git goin' and I'll be right along. I'll guard the door for ya."

"Thank you," she whispered as he stepped aside. The last thing he saw before he turned toward her room was a flash of her slim white back as she headed toward the communal shower. _"Tamade!" _he muttered as he pushed his way through hanging wiring. _'But whose gonna guard the door from me?' _ He stopped in his tracks and shuddered. There he'd admitted it to himself, he wanted River Tam. Shit he was royally screwed!

_**  
**_


	2. In the Black of Night

19

**Rating: **PG-13

**Pairing: **Jayne/River, a tiny bit Mal/Inara

**Disclaimer: **It all belongs to Joss. I just let them out to play a little.

**Beta: **TamSibling

_**Precious Commodity**_

**By**

_**Lattelady**_

_**Ch. 2 In the Black of Night **_

Jayne quickly gathered what he needed for River. When he arrived at the communal bathing area he heard water running from the shower. "Girl, I got ya a blanket. You keep that washin' curtain closed up real tight. I'm gonna come in there and hang this here thing on the big old hook beside the sink." He opened the hatch just far enough for his arm to fit through, then thrust the old army blanket into the room. "When you got all that blood washed offa you, wrap up tight in that thing so I can see to your wounds afore you put your clothes on."

"All…all…alright," River shivered as she ducked under the icy water one last time to rinse stinging soap off her body and out of her hair.

The big man went weak in the knee when he heard her response. "You okay in there?" he called out, when he was unable to stand waiting any longer.

"Cold," she managed to say through chattering teeth and thankfully turned off the water.

"Girl you look like a drowned rat." Jayne shook his head when the door opened and River stepped through wearing Mal's army blanket over her shoulders. She held it closed in front of her, with her gun clutched tightly in her other hand. Even in the dim light of the flashlight her lips appeared blue.

"Let's get you dried off an' warmed up." Jayne pulled her close and used one of his shirts to dry her hair. "At least you don't smell like Reavers no more." He could feel the shivers that shook her body as she leaned against him.

River pressed her face against the large warm man and let him absorb her shudders as she absorbed his body heat.

"There, there, girl you gonna be alright." The mercenary reached for the gun between them. He could tell by the weight and feel of the weapon in his hand that it contained a full clip of ammunition. Instinctively his finger moved against the safety to be sure it was still engaged, as he slid it into the back of his belt,

"I'm so cold," her words vibrated against his chest. "You were correct about the shower."

"Yeah, so were you. You're clean. Hold still and I'll wrap this shirt around your hair ta keep it from drippin' water down your back. There that's better. Now sit yourself down." He motioned toward the deck. "I got that ointment of the Doc's that ya left in the infirmary, for your cuts and bruises."

River stood very still for a moment and carefully listened to the sounds of Serenity sleeping on the strange moon. Once she was satisfied that the only noises she heard were of metal settling, she sat and let Jayne minister to the bites and scratches on her neck and arms.

"They get you anywhere else?" He'd been as gentle as he knew how, but he hadn't missed her intake of her breath when he'd carefully applied the Doc's goo to the bite on her shoulder. He didn't know which had been harder, usin' an impersonal touch when his fingers moved over her soft skin or seeing the damage the _heishoudaang liumang _had done to her.

"There was one other I discovered in the shower." She moved and her bare leg slipped between the folds of the blanket. High on her inner thigh were deep scratches surrounded by fingerprint shaped bruises.

Jayne ground his teeth and stared at the shivering girl in the small pool of light from his flashlight. "That's a nasty one," he growled.

"Yes," she whispered.

It took all his effort to keep his hand from shaking as he dabbed ointment over the gashes she'd just exposed. Suddenly he stopped as he realized the significance of her injury. "River, did they…" He tossed down the tube of medication it a fit of temper and gripped her chin with his hand. He needed to see her eyes, he had to know…. Havin' to say the words out loud made his stomach lurch. "Did they…."

"You are trying to ask if they raped me," River whispered as her hand curled around his wrist where he was holding her chin. She could read anguish in his eyes and feel the distress he didn't know he was broadcasting. "If they had been able to take control long enough for that, I would have been unable to get up again. They did not touch me in that way."

She didn't realize her own eyes told a story of pain and barely missed horror, which had nothing to do with the Alliance. The combination of her emotions and the ones she was picking up from him were too much for her. She couldn't suppress a shudder that shook her body at the memory of her narrow escape. "Please do not tell Simon that they almost…ah…pulled me to the ground when I was prevented from getting back through the blast doors. It was a narrow escape."

"_Chusheng xai-jiao de xiang huo,"_ Jayne pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her while he cussed out the animals that had hurt her. He wanted to go back and kill them Reavers all over again, but he couldn't. Even if they were still alive, he didn't have the skills and he knew it. Only the woman in his arms did. At that moment he was thankful for the Alliance and the rigorous training they'd given her, though if they hadn't held her prisoner at that Academy, she would have been safe at home. It made him start cussing all over again. Alliance torture, Reaver torture, he didn't see a damn bit of difference.

"I am all right, Jayne, really I am." Her breath moved against his neck as she spoke and it made him tighten his grip on her. Much to his surprise she held onto him just as fiercely.

"It's hard to think about what coulda happened to you." Unconsciously he rubbed his chin against her temple, breathing in the soft scent of her. "You're just a little girl. You should be safe somewheres, with someone watchin' over you."

"I'm not a little girl and haven't been since the Alliance decided to play with my brain." She tilted her face against his neck and he could feel her lips moving against his skin as she spoke. "But that is over now. I am safe. You promised to guard my door tonight, so I do have someone to look after me."

"River," he sighed her name and just held her. He wanted to say more, but was caught in a moment of indecision. She had come so close to being violated that morning, it made him feel dirty that he found pleasure in the fact her body was pressed against his. If he pushed her in a vulnerable moment he was no better than one of them Reavers.

"Please," she whispered as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. "I am very tired."

Her quietly spoken words tipped the scales and for once in his life, Jayne Cobb listened to his brain instead of his balls. He pulled her hair free of the shirt it had been wrapped in, glad that the silky dark strands were almost dry. "Well then, you go back in that shower room and get dressed. Your room didn't get damaged, just got your things tossed all around it. I'll take you back there so you can get some sleep. Don't ya worry." It took an effort to let her go. She'd felt good in his arms and he'd wanted to keep her close, but it wasn't proper. The last thing she needed was to become aware of his desires. She'd been though enough for one day.

River nodded and escaped back into the shower room. Moments later she came out wearing her thin red pleated dress and boots.

"Here put this on, it'll keep ya warm." Jayne shuffled his feet as he handed her a warm wool button-down shirt.

"This is yours," her mouth dropped open at his generosity. Jayne didn't share his things with anyone, ever.

"Yeah, but it don't fit right." He shrugged it off as if it were an everyday occurrence, though they both knew it wasn't.

"It does not appear to fit me either." River gazed down her front. The shirt hung to her knees and the cuffs dangled inches beyond her fingertips. "Though it is nice and warm, thank you very much, Jayne." She grinned at him as she tried to roll the sleeves.

"Tweren't nothing." His hand reached as if to help her, but he pulled it back. He wanted to touch her too badly to let himself do so.

River nodded with satisfaction when she could finally see her hands again. "May I have my gun back now, please?" She tried to keep her voice light but she could hear the breathy desperation behind her words. From the expression on Jayne's face he heard it too.

He hesitated a moment before pulling it from where he'd tucked it in his belt and placing it in her outstretched hand. "Let's get going we both need some sleep." He lighted the way for them through the ship until they entered the main galley and then she stopped refusing to go any further. "We're almost there. You can sleep in your own bed tonight."

"No," she couldn't make herself move. As much as she wanted to appear brave and unbroken, she couldn't force herself any further. "Please, I can't…out of sight, out of mind." River pulled away from him and headed toward the storage area he'd found her in. "Out of sight, out of mind."

"You can't sleep on that cold floor!" Jayne was just about at the end of his rope. The woman wasn't making any sense, not that she ever did. He couldn't understand how she could be so strong one moment and a basket case the next. In his world a person was either strong or weak. There was no in-between.

"Please don't make me." She gripped her gun as if it was a lifeline while her eyes darted between his face and the entrance to her hiding place. "Please, Jayne."

"Gorramit, when could I ever make you do anything you didn't want to do," he ground out in frustration.

"It isn't want, it is necessity," she whispered. "In my room I am River with the broken mind." She stepped into his personal space needing to make him understand there was a thought process behind her desperation. "When I woke up locked in the storage area I was becoming whole again. The words were jumbled, often missing, but my thoughts were clearing, beginning to make sense. They were separating into those that were mine and those that belonged to others. During the hours I spent there it became clear. I remembered who I had become and what I had to do. Please, it is where I feel safest until we are in the Black again."

"It's also where you cracked me on the head." He glared at her one last time for good measure.

"That too," she nodded.

"All right, honey," he sighed. It finally made sense to him. The storage area was a place where she'd overpowered a much larger opponent and been able to escape from. That was something he understood to the depths of his soul because he knew that no matter how strong a person was, they were useless until they believed in their own power.

"Thank you," she sighed as her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned against the bulkhead.

"You can't fall asleep yet, you gotta help me drag them cushions from the couch over to insulate the deck. And just so you know, ya ain't sleepin' in there by yourself. Mal would have my hide if I left you there alone." Then again he'd probably have his hide for sleepin'in there with her too, but he'd promised he'd protect her from the Alliance and he couldn't do that from his bunk.

In the end Jayne pulled the mattress from her bed to cushion the deck and she covered the bulkheads with pillows from the couch. Between them they gathered blankets from all over the ship.

"It looks a might crowded, but you're a tiny thing, so ya should fit." Jayne observed as he followed her into their makeshift…_space_…he refused to let his mind use the word bunk, but it kept drifting that way no matter how pure he tried to keep his thoughts. "I'll sit here at the foot, guardin' the door." He grunted as he lowered himself to the bottom of the mattress. "Boy I sure am stiff."

"And you will be even stiffer in the morning if you spend the night sitting up in the cold," she answered sleepily as she plopped down on the mattress and pulled off her boot, always keeping her gun within easy reach. "There is room enough for both of us. We will both fit up here." She patted the space beside her. "And both stay warm."

Jayne shook his head 'cause he knew they'd both fit, but it would be tight with him next to her, tight and uncomfortable, as far as he was concerned. The more distance he could put between her strong compact body and his yearning one, the better he'd feel. But she was also makin' sense. It was damn cold on Serenity and they hadn't gathered near enough blankets to keep the chill away. Muttering obscenities under his breath he scooted up the bed.

"You gonna sleep with that gun?" He glared at her as she shifted to lie down. For just a moment he wondered if she was picking up on his needs and was using the weapon to warn him off. But as quickly as the thought surfaced, he dismissed it. '_Naw, if she knew what I was wantin' to do to that body a' hers she'd knock me senseless like before.'_ He wasn't sure if he found that knowledge reassuring or not.

"You sleep with your guns, don't you?" Her voice drifted up as he settled beside her.

"Ya, but that's different." He grumbled and shimmied as far away from her as their cramped space would allow with Vera placed prominently between them. "Now let's get us some sleep." He felt around in the dark until he'd found all their blankets and tucked them snuggly around them.

"The only way it is different is that Vera is pressing into my back." River glared over her shoulder at the offending weapon. "My gun is not interfering with _your_ sleep."

"Dang it all, girl," Jayne's frustration was at the boiling point. He was tryin' to be nice, but dealing with the little crazy girl in a civilized manner was the last thing he wanted to do. He'd just admitted to himself that he thought she had a body made for all manner of sin, and it was driving him over the edge. He pulled himself up onto his elbow and watched her as he tried to regain his temper.

She was on her side turned away from him with one hand curled under her chin and the large pistol she'd been carrying, held tightly in her other hand. It was resting on the mattress so close to her cheek she was almost lying on it. Her closed eyes and relaxed posture didn't fool Jayne for a moment. He knew that if she heard a noise she thought was outta place, that girl would be on her feet shooting or threatening to shoot herself if it was the only way out.

"I'm sorry, girl," he sighed as he patted her shoulder. "You should be sleepin' with a teddy bear, not a gun, is all." When she didn't respond he reached for Vera and placed the large weapon within easy reach above his head. Then he turned on his side and wrapped his body around hers.

"Thank you, Jayne, I was still very cold," she murmured as she shifted against him taking the body heat he was offering her. "And teddy bears belonged to a different girl in a different life. Do not mourn her, Simon has spent too much time doing so, don't add to the waste."

He bit his lip to suppress a gasp as her small round bottom pressed against his groin. For a moment he wondered if she realized what she was doing to him and was playing him for a fool. One quick look at her peaceful face told him the truth: the Alliance had made her years older than her age by playing with her brain, but in matters of the body she was as innocent as she had been at fourteen.

…………………………

An hour later when demons brought River out of her sleep, gasping in fear, Jayne was beside her. He grabbed her gun hand worried that she would feel the danger was too great and begin shooting, either at him, or use the gun on herself.

"I'm all right," she panted as she sat up still trying to get her bearings. For a moment all she knew was that she felt safe despite the fear that shook her insides. "I am sorry to have awakened you."

"That's what I'm here for, ta protect ya." He sat beside her and felt helpless as her shoulders shook and she tried to hide her feelings from him.

"You can't, not in my nightmares. It is the one place where they can still reach me." She faced him in the dark hoping he wouldn't see she was shivering uncontrollably.

"Come here, Baby," he didn't realize he'd used an endearment until it slipped from his lips, but it didn't stop him from pulling her against his chest and letting her cry out her fears and despair.

"Thank you," she buried her cold nose against his neck and dug her fingers into his shirt under her cheek. "You make me feel safe," she whispered.

"Ahhh I ain't doin' nothin' Simon wouldn't do if he was here." It made him proud that he might be able to lessen her fear, but he was embarrassed that even as he held her he wanted her in ways that he knew he shouldn't. He hoped if he kept her brother's name between them it would make him feel less like one of them Reavers who would have used her for their own dark desires.

"No, Simon would want to give me his medicines to take away the dreams, to remove that part of me that I have become. It frightens him." She sniffed delicately and rubbed her forehead against his whiskers. "He wants his _mei-mei_ back, the River I was before the Alliance, but once a mind is broken it can't be unbroken."

"River you ain't broke!" Jayne grasped her shoulders and pulled her far enough away from him so he could see her face completely and she could see his. "I want ya to stop talkin' about yourself like that."

"You're right, I'm not broken any longer." She gave him a half smile as she touched his cheek. "I am rebuilt, a new thing, part Simon's dancer-girl and part Alliance killer-girl. Not all his shots and medication will erase that new part of me. Even if he could I'm not sure I'd want him to, I've been through too much…there has been too much…" she shivered and tears filled her eyes.

"Ahh girl," Jayne whispered as he pulled her close again. He didn't understand much of what she said. He'd have to think on it. He did know that for the first time since he'd known her she was talking clearly and seemed to know her surroundings and the trouble they could be in.

He rocked her gently and watched as her eyes drifted closed. Much to his surprise her hand loosened on the gun she'd hardly let go of since he'd found her. When he reached over to take it out of her hand, her fingers tightened around the grip, for one second, and then she gave it over into his keeping.

"Jayne is not afraid of killer-girl," she whispered as he pillowed her head on his chest and lay down holding her close. "You will keep me safe."

"Oh baby doll if you only knew how hard it's gonna be," he ran his hand through her hair and enjoyed her weight pressing against him.

It took Jayne most of the night, but by the time the gray foggy dawn broke over the sight of one of the worst Alliance losses since Serenity Valley, the mercenary had himself under perfect control. River Tam needed him. No one had every really needed him afore and it gave him a warm, odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. Sexin' he could get from any whore in the 'verse, but this new feelin,' that became stronger with each beat of his heart, was caused by only one person: the little girl curled against his side. He didn't understand it, and he wasn't sure it was for the best, but for the time being he accepted it.

He'd have to deal with the way she was makin' his body feel all alive and wantin', on his own, t'weren't like it was the first time he'd had to do that neither. Once they was out in the Black again, and Simon and the Captain were back on their feet, he'd hand her back to them for safe keepin'. He figured once he did that, all the needin' and the longin' he was feelin' would disappear and she would go back to bein' the pain in his butt she'd been since she'd popped outta that box. With his new resolve in mind, they were soon both fast asleep.

……………………….

River Tam woke slowly. Her slight movement brought Jayne instantly awake. He could see her right hand moving, searching, and feeling for something that was missing. "Here you go, girl," his voice was husky as he placed her gun, butt first into the palm of her outstretched hand. She was still curled tightly against this side, with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her.

"Thank you…I…ah…needed to know where it was." Her brown eyes met his blue ones and she knew that if anyone would understand he would.

"I know what ya mean," he nodded grimly as he patted Vera who had slept inches above their heads.

…………………………..

High above the desolate moon, the Alliance Operative was making plans. He was through, that had been made clear to him when he'd talked to a representative of Parliament the night before. But there were still some loose ends to tie up and he was just the man to do the tying.

Despite doctor's orders he commandeered a shuttle for the surface. His body armor would help stabilize his back injury, just as it had protected it from much worse damage during his fight with Captain Reynolds. The dislocation of his shoulders had been easily fixed and his powerful mind was able to control lingering pain from any of his injuries. He had business to conduct and nothing was going to stop him.

………………………….

In the Alliance med-tent Malcolm Reynolds began to wake up. He'd been dreaming about Inara. The dream had been so intense her scent lingered as if she was beside him. It caught him completely by surprise when he opened his eyes and found her head resting on his shoulder. Black curls were strewn across his chest where he was holding her tightly against him. "Well if that just don't beat all," he whispered as he gazed at her lovely face.

In sleep she looked as innocent as a child. Her make-up was almost all gone and she still had dark smudges under her eyes from the day before. Mal didn't know how she'd come to be in his bed, but for just a moment he let himself simply feel the joy that her closeness brought. He'd never conjured her warm weight and soft curves would feel so good pressed into his body and he'd done a goodly amount of conjourin' on that subject.

He watched in fascination as her eyes fluttered open and he found himself looking directly into their brown depths. "Shhh, don't say it." He placed his finger over her lips wanting to savor their time together and not have it end in angry words as they usually did.

"I was only going to inquire how you slept." Inara was as determined as Mal to keep the peace between them. He was beaten and bruised. His left eye was red and almost swollen shut, reminding her how close she'd come to losing him forever.

"Pretty well," he smiled at her. "And I got an idea that I've got you to thank for that."

"You could have died, you know?" she whispered as fear clouded her mind. She knew that if she were smart she would move, get away, do anything to put some distance between them but his nearness was too intoxicating.

"We all coulda." Mal ran his hand over her cheek. The idea of her dyin' hurt in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to ask her many things. Half-truths and doubts had kept them apart for too long. Instead he lowered his head, needing to kiss her. Needing to know she was really there with him and not a figment of his longings.

Suddenly heavy boots were heard tromping on the ground outside the tent, and the voice of the Operative carried through the thin canvas walls. Mal and Inara stiffened and pulled away from each other. In her hurry to move, Inara would have fallen out of bed if he hadn't acted quickly and tightened his grip on her.

"We're not through here." Malcolm warned as she slipped from his hold, and moved off the cot. "Though I agree, this is best left for another time."

"Captain, it is good to see you awake." The Operative moved across the tent to stand at Mal's bed. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Doin' just fine," he groaned as Inara helped him into a sitting position. Unlike the man he was facing, he hadn't been wearing body armor the day before and had sustained internal injuries in their fight. He was much weaker than he'd ever admit.

"Good, that is good to hear." The tall black man nodded. "I would like your permission to speak with River Tam today."

"No!" Jayne Cobb called out from the entrance to the tent. "She don't want to have nothin' to do with you." His loud angry delectation brought everyone in the tent awake and armed Alliance guards running with their guns drawn.

TBC


	3. Falling Without Gravity

31

_**Precious Commodity**_

**_Ch. 3 Falling Without Gravity_**

_By_

_**Lattelady**_

River tried to bring back the echo of Jayne's boots as he'd left Serenity. If she was successful, she reasoned, it would surround her as his big body had while they'd slept, but it didn't work. All she found was silence that made her feel empty and alone. It was as if he had disappeared and taken his warmth with him. She told herself that he'd only gone to the Med-tent to check on the rest of the crew and see if he could obtain something hot for them to consume for breakfast, but the quiet was unsettling.

It made no senses. There was nothing rational about her feelings for him. She couldn't quantify it, label it or place it into a neat category for later inspection. The mercenary made her feel safe and secure, even though she knew his presence beside her the night before had placed her in greater danger. She would have given herself up rather than let him be damaged.

Jayne Cobb represented one of the oddities in the 'verse and all her powers as a seer were blinded where he was concerned. She hadn't known he was coming, but he had made his considerable presence known when he'd wrapped his arms around her in the Maidenhead to stop her fighting. She had felt him through and through. It had saved his life and had brought her clarity when her world had gone insane.

With her pistol gripped tightly in her hands she scooted deeper into the storage closet that had become their nest. She had felt safe there when she'd slept in Jayne's arms, but now that he was gone, fear moved into their space.

In desperation she buried her nose in the mattress where he had spent the night, seeking his scent, anything that made his presence real and strong beside her. Forcing herself to take slow easy breaths her lungs filled with the smell of leather, gun powder, cigars and man, the distinct combination of fragrances she associated with Jayne.

River felt her mind slow and her muscles relax, as she lay wrapped in the memory of the night before. She was on the brink of falling asleep when she realized that something was missing. All night long she'd had the sound of Jayne's heart beating under her ear to lull her to sleep, but now there was nothing but quiet. It was the same quiet that had sent her diving into the mattress moments earlier and had filled her with senseless terror the night before.

"Serenity," she whispered, as her eyes flew open, but there was no gentle hum in reply. River rested her hand, palm down on the cold deck. Usually when her naked skin came in contact with the metal plating of the ship, its unique voice reverberated through her body and touched her soul. More times than she could count its rhythm had helped to ease her confusion and panic. Now that the ship was a broken thing and lay dying on Mr. Universe's desolate moon, it said nothing to her. The silence was a death knell, which screamed in River's mind.

"Please, no," she gasped. Instinctively, her thumb slid beside the trigger guard until she located the safety and disengaged it. Once done she edged carefully out of the protection of her hiding place, leaving behind her discarded boots, blankets and Jayne's orders that she stay hidden and warm until his return. With each step she took, River balanced her fear of the Alliance and the Operative who hunted her against her fear that the ship she loved would never again roam the Black.

Quietly, gun in hand, she moved along damaged corridors. She tried to focus completely on her search for a spark that would tell her Serenity still lived, but the Alliance had stolen that part of her brain which allowed her to suppress feelings. An icy hand clutched at her heart and split her mental focus as her fear of being recaptured threatened to send her running back to the one place she felt safe.

"No, no, I must keep searching," she shook her head in misery. In her fear and confusion the night before she'd been unaware that Serenity was slowly dying. Now it didn't matter if she choked and gagged on her panic, she refused be diverted from her task.

The girl worked her way to the engine room and ran her hand over its now silent heart. She tipped her head and listened with her eyes closed as her mind searched deep along conduits and power lines for the slightest beat of life. "Yes," she murmured as her fingers tingled from caressing the red metal of the room. "Yes, you're heart is broken, but Kaylee will be able to fix that."

As River moved on, she buried her nose into the collar of the old shirt Jayne had given her to sleep in. His scent gave her strength and calmed her worry. With her senses on high alert and renewed courage she searched for the hum she had normally felt when she'd walked corridors and hidden places, which were now silent. All she'd found was the one small tremble in the engine room. With determination and the feeling of Jayne beside her, she headed to the bridge. She had heard that a broken heart could be mended, but a broken brain was another matter, one that she was an expert on.

"Wash," she sniffed. Tears filled her eyes when she arrived at her destination and saw for the first time how he had died. "Oh, Wash." She knelt by his body and picked up a fallen dinosaur to return it to its place beside the dead man.

Tears coursed down her face as she crouched beside the pilot's chair. Jayne's wool shirt easily covered her legs and bare feet. She hugged the coarse material against her body, as she rested her head against the control panel. Her friend the pilot was dead, beyond her reach, but there had to be something she could do to help his ship.

"Please Jayne, come back soon," River muttered. In the presence of Wash's destructive death she needed more than his scent to reassure her. Adding to her fear of the Alliance and her fear for Serenity, was a fast growing fear that life as she had known it was over. She felt as if she was falling, surrounded by too many emotions and this time she knew for certain they were all hers.

She ran her hands over the controls while her mind dove deep into the brain of the ship. Finally she found a whisper of life. "I was broken, too," she answered Serenity's cry. "It hurts to be damaged like that, but you will be much stronger once we mend the cracks." She relaxed against the cold metal were the controls were housed. "We shall both fly. Jayne will see to that."

………………………………..

Jayne Cobb stood solid as a rock, with Vera's strap slung casually over his shoulder. One hand gently caressed her steel body and the other brought a cup of coffee to his lips so he could sip the hot liquid. All the while he never took his cool blue eyes off of the Alliance Operative ten feet away. It was a deceptive pose, which Jayne had used many times before. He knew that if things turned nasty, his enemy would only see the slightest lowering of his shoulder before Vera sprayed death and he sprinted for cover.

Both men let the noise of arriving soldiers and waking people flow around them and took the measure of the other.

"River, where's River?" Simon Tam tried to sit-up to get a better look around, despite being gut-shot and having recent abdominal surgery to repair the wound.

"Simon, you gotta take it easy," Kaylee cried out, as she grabbed him by the shoulders. Though she was still dizzy from the poisoned darts the Reavers had shot at her, she supported him as best she could. "She's gotta be here. Ain't she?" She looked around and wished her vision would clear.

"I got her stuck away somewheres safe." Though Jayne's words were mainly to reassure his wounded friends his eyes carried a different message to the grim black man he was staring down.

"Wash," Zoe moaned quietly as she tried to push herself up with one hand while reaching for a non-existent gun with the other. She knew she was sleeping on her stomach, in a strange bed, and surrounded by Alliance troops. It took her a moment to remember that her husband was gone. With a gasped she fell back on the hard cot unsure which hurt worse, the hole in her back from the Reavers or the hole in her heart from Wash's death.

"What's this all about?" Mal leaned against Inara to keep from keeling over in pain. He was weaker than he cared to admit and he was damn sure he'd die before letting the gorram Operative see how badly he'd been hurt.

"I would like to speak to River Tam." The Alliance man repeated his statement from moments earlier, but this time he addressed Jayne.

"Why should we let ya do that?" Mal glared at his mercenary. Something was goin' on and he wanted to know what. He'd seen his hired muscle use that stance plenty of times, but he was always protecting cargo or money, never a person, and especially not the Doc's sister.

"No," Simon cried out from across the room. "I don't trust him."

"I'm not real big on trust when it comes to the Alliance, neither." The Captain continued. "But it'd only be polite to let the man have his say, to us, that is."

"Mal, this ain't no time to…." The big man growled and fought the urge to tighten his grip on Vera and begin shootin'.

"I said we was listenin'." He glared at his merc. The captain wanted more information so he could figure out what the Alliance was really up to. "Let's hear what the man has to say."

The Operative smiled. It appeared as if the power had shifted away from the hot-tempered man with the gun and back to Malcolm Reynolds.

"All I want is to talk with her. She is in no danger, I promise you."

"I can't conjure why you'd think we'd believe ya." Mal's voice was rough with grief after all the killing that had been done in an attempt to regain the runaway Tams.

"If I wanted her dead, she would already be dead." No one doubted he was telling the truth. They all remembered staring into the barrels of Alliance rifles, with River atop a pile of dead Reavers, the only thing between them, and the soldiers calling out for a kill order.

"Now wait just one blamed second," Jayne cut in. "The girl don't want to see you or any of your people for that matter."

"Be that as it may, I would like to see her." The Operative looked into the deadly eyes of a man he knew had no qualms about backing up his words with bullets. It had been a mistake to think that Reynolds was in charge of this situation, one that he would not make again. "How about an act of good-faith, on my part?"

"Good-faith, like when you had Shepherd Book and his people killed?" Jayne was getting' an itchy trigger finger. He wanted this over with.

"That was a strategy of war." The black man moved closer to the mercenary. "As I've already explained to the Captain, the killing would have ended as soon as River Tam had surrendered herself."

"Strategy 'a war, huh, since when does the Alliance declare war on an itty-bitty girl?" Jayne was enraged that the other man was trying to pin the blame for all the dyin' on River.

"Please, Mr. Cobb, we both know she is no ordinary girl."

"A precious commodity," Jayne muttered as he remembered how another Alliance agent had described her long ago.

"Exactly," The Operative nodded.

"Well she ain't. She ain't a commodity, anyways." Something in him couldn't deny that she was precious, but he didn't want to think about that now. "She's a person and got a say-so in what is goin' on around here." His finger caressed Vera's trigger to make his point clear.

Simon lay in pain trying to make sense out of the angry words that were flying around him. His abdomen throbbed and he was having trouble following what was being said. Kaylee's grip on his hand was the only thing that felt real to him. None of what he was hearing made sense and it added to the dream-like quality of the situation. The man who was most likely to turn them over to the authorities was standing beside them; gun in hand, ready to defend his sister. '_Maybe I've finally discovered the real definition of going crazy.'_ Part of him smiled when he remembered how often he'd believed he'd been at that point and that it always seemed to have something to do with Jayne.

"I was about to suggest an act of good-faith, on my part." The Operative gave the wounded people his most convincing smile. When he turned to the Captain and the big man blocking the entrance, he spoke to them both. It was clear Cobb held the power over the Tam girl, but it was unclear how much power Reynolds held over the mercenary. "Most of you have sustained serious injuries and Serenity has…ah…seen better days. I have the means, at my disposal, to get all of you and your ship back to Persephone….."

"You expectin' us to hand River over to ya and go on our way?" Jayne ground out, his eyes deadly pinpricks of blue.

"No, you can't, we can't," Simon gasped, but was ignored as arguments broke out around him.

"Everyone just quiet down all, a you," Mal looked at his crew and tried to straighten from where he was slumped against Nara. She gently gripped his shoulders to keep him in place and give him reassurance. "Now that's a mighty temptin' proposition you're offerin' us." His mouth turned up at the edges and suddenly he looked as deadly as Jayne. "But even if I was desperate enough to turn over the person who saved all our lives this time yesterday, why do you think I'm fool enough to believe you would keep to your end of the bargain?"

"All I'm asking, in return for my help, is that you tell River that I would like to speak with her. The decision would be hers." He looked directly at Jayne, suspecting he was the key to the girl in these negotiations. "And please reassure her I mean her no harm." With a nod to his troops he moved toward the entrance of the tent. "We will leave you to discuss this among yourselves."

"Just so you understand," Jayne glared at the man inches away from him. "The girl is a might twitchy bein' surrounded by Alliance troops. If you set foot on Serenity without her permission, there's like to be some shootin'. And I ain't just talkin' about her takin' aim at you Alliance boys. If she gets to feelin' trapped, she's like to blow her head off. She's told me she'd rather die than be retaken."

The two big men watched each other carefully. Each searched beneath the other's words to find the truth in his intentions. The Operative finally nodded. Given all he knew about the girl he didn't believe for a moment that he was being lied to. "You have my word; no one will approach your ship without your permission first."

………………………

"How is she?" Simon was frantic with worry, but too badly injured to go and search for River himself.

"She's doin' better than I'd be, if I was her." Jayne frowned. "I was finally able to convince her to clean up and let me tend to her cuts and bruises."

"Thank you, Jayne," Simon smiled in relief and let his head rest on his pillow for the first time since he'd awoken. "Thank you for taking care of her when I couldn't."

"Don't thank me too soon, Doc." The big man looked grim. "Your sister's got a powerful fear of bein' taken again by the Alliance. What I told that Operative was the truth. She'd rather die than go back."

"We aren't going to let that happen." Zoe cut in. "No more dyin' cause of this. I'm sick to death of dyin'." She had to turn her face and buried it in her cot to keep the others from seeing her tears. Wash was the only one who'd ever seen her cry and that was not going to change now that he had slipped on.

"Zoe's got the right of it," Mal sighed. "Jayne, you tell River what's goin' on. If she's willin' we'll keep her hidden until we're back on Persephone. I'd sure like to take that man up on his offer of help, but I won't compromise her, not after yesterday."

"Okay," Jayne nodded his lips grim. "Right now I gotta get the girl some food. There isn't anything workin' on Serenity, and she ain't had no food since we took off for that damned Reaver planet."

"Jayne," Simon called as the other man stood up. "Keep a close watch on any of her injuries. If they look at all suspicious let me know right away. I don't want her getting an infection from…from…" his eyes closed, but no matter how hard he fought to keep them open, the pain was too much and he lost consciousness.

"Oh Simon," Kaylee's eyes filled with tears as she gently stroked his face. Part of her wanted to curl up beside him until she was sure he was gonna be okay, but part of her knew that her other love, Serenity, was hurt and needed her too. Her heart was bein' pulled in two directions. "Cap'n," she looked to Mal to make the decision for her. "I know I should go and check on 'My Girl', but…"

"You lay back Little Kaylee," Malcolm Reynolds spoke gently to her. "Get some sleep, Serenity will still be there tomorrow. You're in no condition to be doin' mechanic work, yet."

Unable to speak for fear that she'd be overwhelmed by crying, she curled beside the Doc, and pulled a blanket over the both of them.

Minutes later Mal and Inara watched Jayne move out of the tent, carrying rations and a second cup of coffee.

"Something seem strange about that to you, Nara?" The Captain looked into the Companion's dark eyes as she helped him lay down again.

"Are you referring to your hired gun playing nursemaid, or the Operative's offer of help?" Her brow twitched at the absurdity of both situations.

"Both, now that you mention it, little miss helpful." He tried to glare at her. He didn't need a reminder of how dangerous a game they'd be playing if they let the Alliance help them, but the image of his hired muscle in a frilly maid's uniform made him chuckle. "I'm powerful worried about Jayne."

"I need to change my clothes," she sighed as she thought how little she had in the trunk she'd left aboard Serenity when she'd moved into the training house to teach, months ago. "I can check on your wayward children at the same time."

"Nara," Mal gripped her hand as she would have pulled away.

"Not now, please," she whispered as tears filled her eyes. Her memories of being beside him the night before were too strong and she hated that they made her feel weak in the knees.

"You building walls again?"

"Just enough to survive, until we're out in the Black, and away from this hellhole. I promise." She gripped his hand tightly in hers and pulled free.

"I'm gonna hold ya to that," Mal whispered as she headed out of the tent. He could tell she'd heard his quiet words because she stopped and turned toward him, her eyes large and filled with something he'd wanted to see for a long time.

……………………………

"River, where'd you get to girl," Jayne called as he stuck his head into the storage closet where they'd spent the night. "Damnit girl, I told ya to stay put, not wander this boat, especially without your boots?" He added the last in an angry mutter.

Moments later he found her on the bridge curled against the pilot's station, her gun still clutched tightly in her hand. He was a tough man who had seen death in many forms, but it made his stomach roll when he saw what had happened to Wash. "God damn Reavers, killings too good for em."

"Jayne, help me," River looked up at him with huge eyes.

"Ahhh, girl you shouldn't be here." He bent down beside her but was caught by surprise when she sprang forward and wrapped her arms tightly around him with her face buried against his neck. The pistol in her right hand dangled over his shoulder. He quickly re-engaged the safety before he patted her back and ran his hand through her long hair. "There, there, girl."

"We have to do something," she cried. "Please, say you'll help me."

"First thing I'm gonna do to help ya is get you outta here." He picked her up with one arm under her knees and the other around her back. "This ain't no place for you to be. 'Sides I've got us some breakfast."

"But you don't understand, we have to do something now, or she will die." She kept talking as he carried her through the dark passageway from the bridge to the main living area. "Jayne, she is broken, we must repair her cracks so she can be whole again. Simon's shots won't work on her."

"I thought we talked on this last night!" he sighed. It sounded like the girl was off her rocker again. "You're just fine, ain't no cracks or breaks in you. Well least not so that they show, too often."

"Not me," she dropped her gun in her lap and held Jayne's cheeks in the palms of her hands. "Serenity, I am talking about Serenity. When I walk I can't feel her voice. She is dying!"

"That why you was running around without your boots?" He wanted to frown at her, but when she held his face gentle-like in her small hands, it did funny things to his insides. Things he knew he shouldn't be feelin'.

"Yes," River's sad expression made him stop and hold her closer. "Instead of her beating heart, there is only a slight whisper in the engine room and that isn't for me to hear, it is for Kaylee. The crash did terrible things to her brain, that I can help her with." A lone tear slipped down her right cheek.

"Ahhh, don't cry girl." Jayne knelt in the corridor with the petite girl across his knee. It felt so right to him he knew it had to be a sin, but he couldn't help himself. He pulled her body tighter against his and let her fill him up with feelin's of contentment and longin'.

"Jayne," she whispered and she let his emotions wrap around her as tightly as his strong arms.

He wound her hair around his hand until he cupped her head in the palm of his hand. The urge to tug hard, exposing her long white neck so he could taste it, roared in his blood, but one look at her bruised eyelids and pale face stopped him. "River, look at me," his voice was raw with emotions he didn't understand.

Slowly she blinked and her clouded eyes met his. He could feel her trembling against his body as her hands dug into his shirt. "This ain't right, girl."

"But…." She licked her lips with her small pink tongue and it almost made Jayne moan

"No, buts about it," he was confused and his words come out fierce. He had a warm and willin woman in his arms and he was pushin her away. "I got breakfast waitin in the mess. There's hot coffee and some Alliance ration packs." He dumped her on the floor and stood. She lay small and crumpled at his feet. It made him feel like tearing somethin apart, or pullin her back into his arms.

"Jayne," she reached a shaky hand toward the big man.

"I'll be waitin on ya." It took all his strength, but he left her shiverin in the corridor and walked away with his body on fire and a dull throb in his chest.

River fought to catch her breath. She was filled with feelings she didn't understand and a desire she was all too familiar with. It was what made her want to hit-out, fight, kick, and kill. It was the trigger the Alliance had planted in her to make her the weapon she'd become. They had given her powerful desires, but taught her the only immediate outlet was to fight and kill at their command.

She lay twitching on the cold deck, knowing the curling in her belly and the swelling in her breasts would pass if given enough time. As her mind cooled she realized something was very wrong. In the past, when she'd had those feelings, she would go into fighting mode. It had been how she had been trained. It was the message that had been sent to her in the Maidenhead. But moments ago she'd clung to Jayne instead of attacking him. What was it that she had felt that had kept her from turning into a killing machine? Was it the same thing that had kept her from killing him in the bar fight? Why hadn't she let the man who had been about to stab Jayne in the back bury the knife deep between the mercenary's shoulder blades? It would have set her free faster than grabbing the big man's testicles and there would have been one less person to fight.

River remembered the first time she'd picked up desire emanating through Serenity's sleeping halls. It had come from Zoe and Wash. Their desires had been wrapped in a soft demanding cocoon of love. At first the girl believed it was another Alliance trick. A new way to torment her, but as she became aware of her surroundings and the people in them, she knew that the feelings between the married couple were real, though she believed it to be a unique situation. Something found in these two people alone.

As time passed she became aware that Simon and Kaylee were having the same feelings toward each other, though they weren't acting on them. Part of her was relieved. It was inappropriate that she should know that Simon was having such feelings. But part of her was sorry that he stubbornly refused to act on what he felt.

River wasn't sure when she became aware that there were deep currents hidden in the relationship between the Captain and Inara. It had taken her much longer to piece together the emotions and desires those two sent flying around the ship. They were mixed up and confused. Sometimes filled with anger, jealousy and fear, but under all of that was a strong love that kept them from tearing one another apart.

Only Jayne felt nothing but raw emotion. His desires were hungry and powerful and they frightened her, because they were too much like the subliminal messages the Alliance had used in her training. But the night before she had lain in his arms basking in strong feelings that had made her feel warm and safe, and moments ago, it had been the same until he'd pushed her away.

Standing on unsteady feet, River headed toward the Mess. Jayne hadn't devoured her when he'd had the chance and she hadn't killed him when every nerve ending in her body had screamed at her that it was the only way she'd find release from the throws of passion she'd been caught in.

The Crazy Genius and the Mercenary needed to have a serious talk.

_**TBC**_


	4. Flying Without Wings

48

**_Rating: R_** (Please note the change in rating. You have been warned.)

**_Disclaimer:_** They belong to Joss.

**_Pairings: _**Jayne/River and Mal/Inara

_**Precious Commodity**_

_**By**_

_**Lattelady**_

**_Ch. 4 Flying Without Wings _**

River skidded to a stop in the corridor ten feet from the entrance to the main lounge. With her head tilted she concentrated all her efforts on listening and feeling. She could hear Jayne's deep masculine voice very near and he was clearly distressed. There was another person present, who spoke in hushed tones, which made it impossible for the girl to identify who it was.

Survival instinct sent her shivering back against the bulkhead. Her brain didn't have to tell her fingers to disengage the safety on her gun. They did it of their own accord. Moving with stealth she sniffed the air as she crept along until she was almost to the door. Jayne's tone carried a message of danger, but her mind couldn't feel any in the immediate area or near future. Self preservation won out as she readied for action. Seconds later she sprang and landed crouching, ready to fire at the unknown person who had dared come aboard Serenity uninvited.

"Easy there, girl," Jayne called out as he quickly grabbed her wrist pointing her gun hand toward the deck. "It's just Inara, come for a visit." He wrestled the weapon from her fingers and glared at her. "And I thought I told ya to keep the damn safety on this thing!"

"Give me back my gun." River shook with anger and embarrassment.

"You'll get it back when it's just you and me on this here boat." He stuck the pistol in the back of his belt and dared her to challenge him. "I don't want no accidents while we got company."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." The Companion stepped between the glaring pair. It was apparent the mercenary had been correct in his assessment. The girl was skittish and frightened easily. Though, the Captain's rule of no touching guns had gone completely out the air lock, Jayne seemed to be maintaining control.

"You sounded upset," she whispered. "And I heard a voice I couldn't identify." Her dark eyes sought Jayne's.

"I figured as much, so I was listening for ya. You can be mighty quiet when you've a mind to be." He frowned and handed her his cup of hot coffee. A' course he was upset, he'd come damn close to kissin' her. _'What the ruttin' hell did she think?_ _That he was_ _made a' stone or somethin'?_ "Drink that. It'll warm ya up some. Nara brought a whole thermos so there's plenty."

Inara stood back and watched, unsure what to make of the interaction between Jayne and River. While the girl was eating he brought her boots from the inner storage room. When their discussion of the Operative's offer of help made River tremble, Jayne guarded the back of her chair. One of his large hands cupped each of her shoulders giving her support that she absorbed and unconsciously leaned into.

"Mal wanted you to know that the choice is yours." Inara patted River's hand.

"There is no choice," the girl took a deep breath, glad for Jayne's touch giving her courage. "Serenity must be saved."

"River, you don't gotta do this." He crouched beside her, with one arm slung lightly around her back and the other holding her hand. "We'll figure out someways off this rock."

"It must be done," she whispered.

"You sure?" Jayne squeezed her shoulder to be sure he had her complete attention. "I'll back ya, whatever you decide."

"I know," she smiled gently, lost for a moment in the depth of his gaze. "I appreciate what you are offering, but no, it would be too costly." With a slight shake of her head, she forced herself to concentrate on the companion rather than the man beside her. "Inara, tell the Alliance man I have some conditions." Now was the time to see if she was dealing from a place of strength or if this was all a ploy to get her back under Blue Sun control. "First, I will not speak with him until after Serenity and her crew are safely on Persephone. Second, until the time we dock there, I will not leave this ship and no one is to come aboard without my authorization."

"River, you can't stay aboard Serenity!" Inara cried out. "None of their heavy cruisers can inter atmo. And Serenity has more hull breaches than a sieve. You'd die!"

"If the Operative wants to have a meeting with me, he must think of a way to accomplish the task of moving this ship in such a way that I do not cease to exist."

……………………………

"Inara, wait a sec," Jayne stopped as they approached the cargo bay door. He'd gone as far as he was gonna go. If River was gonna stay, so was he. "You tell Mal what's goin' on, I don't want to leave the girl right now. She's scared something awful."

"Alright," she let her eyes travel over the tough hard man beside her and realized something was different. "You plan on staying with her during the transfer, don't you?"

"Yup, I reckon I do." He rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. "It don't make no sense, but I don't want her to be alone."

"You're a good man Jayne Cobb." Nara smiled and earned herself a nasty look. "Well you are."

"No I ain't and don't you go sayin I am. It'll ruin my reputation."

"Well, we wouldn't want that." She rolled her eyes and grinned.

"Wait, there's something else." He shuffled his feet unsure how to say what needed to be said. He wasn't a man known for tack, let alone delicacy and this was a matter that needed to be approached delicately. "The bridge's an awful mess. And ahh…Wash, well his body…is stuck. If we tried movin' the ship without takin care a' him…we'd…a…rip him apart," his last words come out on a whisper.

"Ohhh," Inara sighed and took deep even breaths. "I didn't know. We have to do something about that. We can't…just leave him."

"It ain't something I can do by myself. River is strong, but …" He shook his head, again faced with something he didn't have words for. In the past his attitude would have been either the kid did her share or she got left behind. Now it was different. He didn't know how or why, it just was.

"Jayne…" The companion watched the big man carefully. There was something beneath the surface of his worry, something she couldn't place. She knew if she weren't so tired or worried about Mal, it would be clearer.

"It's gonna be more than a two man job and ain't no way we can have her workin' side by side with them soldiers." He made his voice sound as gruff as possible in an attempt to stop Inara from lookin at him funny.

"You're most correct." She shook her head and smiled. She must be more tired than she'd thought. There for a moment she had believed she'd seen deep concern in Jayne's eyes. "I think River has just added another condition to her deal with the Alliance." Nara gave him a tight smile. "You keep an eye on her and once the Operative assigns a team to help us take care of…of…the body," she bit her lip to keep from choking. It was hard to relegate Wash to nothing more than a body, but if she was going to do what needed to be done, it was necessary for her sanity. "I'll be sure they take good care of what needs to be done on the bridge."

"Thanks, Inara."

"You just be sure to keep River occupied and away from any guns while we're working up there."

……………………………..

River was as nervous as a cat while Alliance soldiers worked on the bridge under Inara's watchful eye. Jayne did his best to keep her occupied, but there wasn't much to do. Once they'd checked out the space suits they'd need to wear when the ship was moved, time dragged. It had taken them almost two hours to locate the EVA gear and then carefully inspected each seam, gather point and valve. Both knew that the pressurized outfits were going to be all that kept them breathing and alive once they left atmo.

It had driven Jayne nearly crazy to watch the girl as she worked. Every few minutes her body would freeze. She'd close her eyes and sniff the air as if she could smell the noise from above. Her lips would move and she'd mutter, "out of sight out of mind." Once she no longer had the task of helping to ready the suits, she retreated into a corner of the storage area with her gun in hand and shivered refusing to come out.

Jayne's patience finally gave out and he grabbed her by the wrist. "You're coming with me." He was fully aware that if she truly didn't want to come, she'd deck him and that would be that. It gladdened his heart and sore muscles that she gave only a token resistance.

"Out of sight, out of mind," she shouted, as they left the lounge area and headed for the infirmary.

"You can just stop diggin in your heels and talkin that nonsense. I got orders from your brother to check out your wounds." He pulled her along behind him. His long strides carried them further and further away from the work that was being done on the bridge. "I promised him I'd take care of you. So stop makin' it so hard. 'Sides he wants you to have a tetanus shot and somethin' else. It says here you should be given a broad…spec…trum…ant-i-biotic." He squinted at the hastily written note Inara had brought with her when she'd come with the work crew. "Ya, that's it, a broad spectrum antibiotic." Jayne wasn't sure what that was, but he knew Simon would die before hurtin' his sister. "He sent these here instructions."

"No shots! Please, don't make me sleep, not while _they_ are aboard."

"They ain't that kinda shots and you know it. Just a tetanus innoc and this other thing so them Reaver bites don't get infected." He turned and saw how pale she'd become at the idea of more medication. "I'd never make you sleep with those _hundans _workin on the ship, even if Nara is watchin' em." He reached out and brushed a lock of soft brown hair behind her ear. "Ya gotta trust me."

"I do, but it's hard," she whispered.

"I guess I can understand that."

The infirmary was a mess. It looked worse in the gray light of day than it had with only a flashlight the night before. Even with River's help it took Jayne twenty minutes to locate everything they needed.

"You sure that's the right stuff?" He frowned as he gently cleaned off an area on her upper arm with an antiseptic wipe.

"Yes, tetanus immune globulin," she pointed to the small words on the sterile pre-dosed syringe of medication. "Must be given intramuscularly," she nodded her chin to emphasize where Jayne rubbed at her skin.

"Okay, girl, hold real still," he muttered as he gripped her arm with one hand and the syringe with the other.

"It will not hurt me," she whispered. Blue eyes met brown ones from inches away. River was sitting on the treatment table in the corner so she was almost the same height as Jayne.

The Mercenary bit his lip in confusion. He'd killed men with ease and thought nothin' of it, but the idea of stickin' a needle in the Moonbrained girl was eatin' at his insides.

"It must be done," River ran her fingers along his goatee to get his attention. "I could die, painfully, if the medication is needed and not administered. Do not be afraid."

"I ain't afraid of nothin'," his eyes shot fire and his wrist moved quickly like he was throwin' a dart, just as the Doc's instructions had said for him to do. But he couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips when the sharp needle broke through her delicate skin and deep into her muscle. It took all his effort to keep his hand from shaking as he slowly pushed the plunger to administer the injection.

"Now, one more to go." River moved onto her side and hiked up her skirt.

"Whatcha doin', girl?" Jayne blinked in shock as she calmly reclined, one shapely leg bare from hip to the top of her boot. The only concession to decency was a small white strip of cotton panties.

"You must give it to me in my hip. The medication is much thicker than the tetanus. My deltoid will not absorb it easily. It must be given in a bigger muscle." She pointed to a triangular area on her hip, above her bikini panties, where her bottom flared out from below her waist. "Here, you give it here. There are no major blood vessels or nerves in that area."

"That ain't right," Jayne whispered, frozen in place. He couldn't take his eyes off her creamy skin or the shapely toned muscles of her leg where it met a firm rounded cotton-covered butt that his hand itched to touch.

"Of course it is correct. It is the ventrogluteal muscle and very easy to find. You should place the heel of your hand on my femur…a…hip bone at the top of my thigh." She reached for his left hand and began to place it on her body as she described the anatomical landmarks he should be feeling. "Point your thumb toward my groin, with your fingers pointing toward my head. Form a 'V' with your fingers by opening----"

"Stop!" Jayne shouted, interrupting her lecture and jumping back as if his hand were on fire. His head was spinnin' at the sight of her rounded partially clad bottom. He glared at her and had to keep his hands fisted at his sides to keep from touchin' again, what he knew he shouldn't be seein' let alone wantin'. "What you tryin' to do, girl?" his words were sharp and harsh.

"I…" she looked over her shoulder at the grim-faced man and her breath caught in her throat. Suddenly she was surrounded by feelings and needs so strong they made her gasp. "I was…trying…to…help..." She carefully sat up as her words slowed. "Those were...the…words….from….Simon's….textbooks……." Shivering she pulled her skirt carefully over her knees and tucked her legs under her body. Her words ground to a halt. In her attempt to be cool and clinical, she'd inadvertently inflamed the man's desires until they surrounded her. "I…I…didn't mean…"

"I realize that, but ya gotta remember I ain't your brother." His eyes locked with hers telling far more than he realized, though he had complete control over his expression except for a small muscle, which twitched high on his cheek.

River's eyes were huge and brown and didn't show a hint of guile. Jayne knew it'd spent too much time around loose women and the girl in front of him needed protectin', not seducin'. It took a moment to form the words. His heart was poundin' so loud he was sure she could hear it. "Now," he licked his lips and prayed for control. "I still gotta give ya this here shot, so why don't you just point to the right spot." He hoped his voice sounded calm, because he didn't want to scare her anymore than necessary.

"Alright," she whispered as she slid onto her side and arranged her skirt so that only a small area of flesh was showing. "There," she pointed to the middle of the exposed area. She bit her lip to keep from groaning as the viscous antibiotic was injected into her muscle. It hurt, but she didn't want Jayne to know that.

"Glad that's over with," he sighed. "I sure ain't cut out to be a Doc." He looked at his big hands and was surprised to see they was steady as a rock. On the inside it felt as if they was trembling something terrible. "Let me have a look at that bite on your shoulder and them scratch marks on your leg." They had to get this over with quickly, or he knew he'd lose control. No matter how many times he told himself that she was too young and too crazy, his body wasn't listenin'. The evidence of that was hard and throbbin' and pushin' to burst outta his cargo pants.

He couldn't remember wantin' anything this bad in his entire life. Usually he took what he wanted, and where women were concerned, he was mighty good at persuadin', or just produced the credits and bought his way into their beds. A small part of him kept wanderin' why River Tam was different? From what he'd experienced a while back, she' was willin'. It didn't make no sense, that he was the one backin' off.

"I can take care of my injuries, myself." River moved carefully off the table and out of Jayne's reach. The room was alive with electrical current that warmed her blood and frightened her. "I think it would be best if I cleaned them in the shower like last night."

They looked at one another across the width of the infirmary. Jayne wanted to put some distance between them and it appeared as if she did as well. There was a pinched look around her eyes and mouth that the mercenary didn't understand. Something about it made him take slow measured steps toward her, until she was only inches away.

"You sure 'bout that, girl?" He looked down at her with heavy-lidded blue eyes. His hands were on his hip and thumbs stuck in his belt. "That water hasn't warmed up any since last night." He throbbed with sensuality and both were caught in its trap.

"I know, but it would be best," she whispered. Something pounded against her skin and made her belly tighten until she began to tremble.

"Then you better git to it." He nodded still watching her every expression. When she couldn't tear her eye from his, his face darkened and so did his voice. "Girl, if you're gonna git, I suggest you do it right now." Damn he wanted her and if she didn't stop lookin' at him like that, he was gonna take her. "I said, git," he growled.

With his last words, she turned and fled. As she moved through Serenity she was aware of Jayne following her, with slow easy steps. When she reached the communal shower, she ran in and slammed the door. Once the water was turned on high, she curled on the floor beside it and wept. The shaft of feeling she'd received from him had been sudden and sharp. It made her dizzy and ache in places that only the Alliance had been able to control in the past. But instead of wanting to fight as they had trained her to do, she wanted something much more. She was left feeling cold and alone, throbbing with longings she didn't know what to do with.

When he'd almost kissed her earlier, she'd promised herself that they would talk, but now she didn't know where to start. She'd only been trying to help, not entice when he needed to give her the injection. It made no sense. Her body made no sense, and all she could do was cry. It didn't help that she could feel his presence on the other side of the door, keeping watch, as he'd promised her last night that he would do.

…………………………

It was full night when the work crew quietly left Serenity. The only signs that they'd been there were three body bags lined up in the hold. Two were modern Alliance models, the kind that preserved the body as well as stored it. One held Hoban Washburne, and another contained Mr. Universe. The third was of the older style, meant for short term transport. It was occupied by a tall lanky blonde Lovebot known as Lenore. Inara had instructed the soldiers to leave the bags at the base of the cargo ramp. Once she was alone, she'd carefully dragged them, one by one, onto the boat. Jayne and River had been nowhere in sight and had not answered her call for assistance.

………………………………..

In the dim light of the Med-tent Inara washed her hands. She was weary and nauseous. It had taken all of her considerable training as a Companion to stay emotionless while they'd worked to free Wash's body from its prison on the bridge. It was a relief to be alone. With no prying eyes, it didn't matter that her hands shook or her feelings were on display.

Out of habit, she brewed a cup of her special tea. She'd left a small tin of it in the trunk on Serenity and had been very glad to find it when she'd changed her clothes earlier in the day. Her hands were almost to unsteady to raise the cup to her lips without spilling, but she did it.

"Nara, where you been all day?" Mal got stiffly to his feet and limped out of earshot of his sleeping crew. After he'd relayed River's message to the Operative, he'd fallen asleep waitin' for the Inara to join him for lunch. That had been sometime 'round noon, now it was full dark. He'd awakened a number of times in the hours in between and each time he'd been surprised to see her missing from the tent. After what had passed between them in the last two days, he'd begun to think she'd changed. The cynical part of him sighed and shook his head. '_Cat can't change its spots.'_ What had he expected?

"I…ah…had some things to do," her voice was hoarse with unshed tears, and she fought to regain her previous control. She knew him well enough to know that he believed it was his job as Captain to have taken care of Wash's body. She also knew that Mal had lost a lot of blood the day before. His two verbal confrontations, with the Operative, one this morning in person, and one mid-morning by wireless, had drained him of strength.

"Well I hope them boys didn't keep you too busy." He wished she would turn around and look at him. All he could see was her standin' there in a quilted gold robe, with her long dark hair hangin' down her back. His hand shook from rememberin' the feel of those soft curls as he'd ran his fingers through them when she'd woke in his arms that mornin'.

"And how exactly do you think I spent my day?" she whispered and took another swallow of tea in an attempt to appear nonchalant.

"Well given what you do for a livin' and the abundance of lonely Alliance boys, I can only think one thing." Mal realized he was fighting his own petty jealousies, the only way he knew how, by lashing out at her. But instead of fightin' back, she just stood there with her hands tremblin', grippin' a tin cup as if her life depended on it. He regretted his words the second they were out of his mouth, but he couldn't have stopped them anymore than the Alliance could stop the signal that he'd sent out yesterday.

Inara gasped at the implication. He would have hurt her less, if he'd slapped her across the face. No matter how much she wanted to hold onto her composure, his casual words ripped through walls that were shaken and crumbling from her afternoon on the bridge. Her stomach cramped and she gagged. Hot tea spilled everywhere as her cup fell from her suddenly cold nerveless fingers. She grasped for the wash basin on the counter and almost dropped it, but at the last second her hand wrapped around its edge and she pulled it tightly to her chest as she threw-up.

Suddenly large warm hands were holding her hair back and she leaned against a body that was unsteady on its feet, but strong enough to hold her up as she lost the little bit of tea she'd had to drink and kept on retching, racked with dry heaves.

"Easy there, easy," Mal soothed her by rubbing her back in slow gentle motions. He held her as best he could until her choking slowed and finally stopped. "I think you better tell me what you really did this afternoon."

"I can't," she whispered and pulled away from him to dump the contents of the basin in the waste disposal unit. Leaning down she found her cup and filled it with clean cool water to rinse out her mouth. "I can't talk about it."

"Yes, you can." He was inches away and she could feel the heat from his body. "Just look at me and you can say anything."

She shook her head, unable to form the words. All she wanted to do was lean back and let him hold her until she could free her mind of the horrors of all that she'd had to do. But he made her feel vulnerable and it confused her, so she refused to give into her needs. "I…" She tried again to speak as tears welled up once more. She hated that she was breaking down when he needed her to be strong, but her energy was gone.

"Come here and put that damn cup down!" With more strength than she realized he possessed, he turned her toward him. "Nara!" he gasped when he saw her pale face. She wasn't wearing a drop of make-up and even in the poor lighting of the Med-tent he could see freckles scattered across her nose. "What have we done to you?" A sudden sick feeling filled his belly when he thought what could happen to a woman alone among rough troops.

"No one did anything, no one except me!" In defeat, she leaned her head on his shoulder and burst into tears.

Mal wrapped his arms around her and rocked her gently. "Ya gotta talk to me, or I can't make it better," he whispered helplessly, knowing his words from moments ago had only made the situation worse. He used the last of his strength to slide them to the ground. Sitting he could support her weight and not have to worry about falling down.

Finally her crying calmed and her breaths became jerky little hic-ups. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that." She picked at a non-existent piece of lint on his collar, unable to meet his eyes.

"Look at me," he tipped her chin upward. "I'm sorry for what I said," he shook his head at his own stupidity. "I won't insult you anymore."

"Please Mal, don't make promises you can't keep." She tried to smile but her attempt at levity fell flat. With a sigh she bit her lip, closed her eye and for one of the first times in her life, voluntarily let him see and hear what she was really feeling. "I…I…took a crew of four Alliance soldiers to Serenity's bridge and we…we…we had some work to do."

"Wash?" He saw her body tremble and pulled her close again.

"I know you didn't want him touched by them, but there was no one else. We…we… were careful. I couldn't let them do it alone, they might have _hurt_ him." She knew she was crying, that her face was red and her eyes puffy, but she didn't care. Her pain was too real and she knew that Malcolm Reynolds was the only person who could help her with it.

"Oh God," he whispered. "Oh God, Inara, forgive me, please forgive me." He wasn't sure which he was begging forgiveness for, accusing of her of hunting up business or having to be the one to take care of the pilot's body. All he knew was that she was hurting and he'd give his life to prevent it. "Hush now, hush," he wrapped her hair around one of his hands until he held her head in his palm. "You're so soft and so beautiful. No more tears," his words were mixed with soft kisses as he kissed away the warm tears that ran down her face. "No more," with a sigh he gave free reign to his feelings and covered her full damp lips with his.

The couple held tightly to one another, kissing, touching and whispering private words. Though it was much less than either wanted, it was more than they had ever expected. Walls were down, fortresses were breached. The chaos and aftermath of the emotional war they'd fought for over a year was strewn around them and peace had finally been declared.

…………………………………

When River stepped out of the shower room, Jayne was still standing guard, though his expression was stiff and his eyes dark. He ignored her chattering teeth and the blue tinge to her lips, 'cause if he touched her, he wasn't letting her go.

"I…a…I thought I'd take a turn," he grunted and waved a handful of clean clothes he'd brought for himself, as he stepped past her.

"As you said yesterday, the water is colder than milk from a witch's tit," River pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders. It was the one she'd used the night before and she'd left it hanging to dry on the large hook by the tub.

"If you can stand it, so can I." He glared and handed over her large pistol. "Here's your gun, now go git dressed."

He hurried into the shower room so he missed seeing her eyes fill with tears or hear her mumbled words, "I'll guard your door."

The flashlight was just bright enough to allow him to shave without gettin' cut too badly. It'd been a few days and his face was beginnin' to itch. It wasn't the only part of his body that itched, as he sniffed the damp air and caught a whiff 'a female. "I will not think about that Moonbrained-girl," he muttered to his reflection as his straight razor moved carefully around the outer edges of his goatee. But even as he said it, he knew he was in deep trouble. He hadn't counted on the whole place smellin' like her shampoo and that antiseptic soap she'd used the night before. He stood tremblin', rememberin' burying his nose in her neck, as she had slept in his arms. It made him want to bury all 'a him deep inside 'a her.

"Gorramit!" he pulled off his clothes and ducked under cold water as he quickly bathed. All the while trying not to think that ten minutes earlier, she'd been standing naked exactly where he was standin' now.

"Shit," Jayne knew there was only one thing he could do if he was going to get any peace of mind before he handed River back to her brother when they reached Persephone. The freezing water hadn't taken care of his problem, so there was only one thing left to do. Quickly finishing his wash, he left the water running and climbed outta the shower stall. He knew he'd have to go back in for a quick rinse later, but he was beyond caring.

Using an old towel he'd brought along, he removed the dripping water from his skin. As his hand moved lower on his body he let the towel drop. With his palm curled around the heavy hardness that just thinkin' about the girl caused, he was thankful she was off hidin and not waitin' for him as he had for her.

"Aaahhhh," he moaned and leaned massive shoulders against the door while his hand moved and he let his mind fill with images of all kinds of sin. Alone in the dark, with only the sound of runnin' water and his deep quick breathing, he could imagine anything he wanted. His lips parted in a hungry smile as his large calloused hands became her small delicate ones…moving….moving….moving "Ooohhh," he bit his lip, to keep from crying out, as every muscle began to tremble in pleasure.

………………………………

On the other side of the door River was crumpled in a small heap. She had dressed quickly and then had returned to stand guard for Jayne as he had for her. She'd been quietly leaning against the door when feelings and emotions flooded her soul.

Her breath came in huge deep gasps as it felt like she was touching hard velvet flesh and large knowledgeable hands moved over her body. She looked around frantically, but no one was there. The Alliance had played with her mind hundreds of times, but this was the first time that they'd let her feel as if she was being touch. Always before, they would use their machines to send the message directly to her brain. It had been cold, clinical and there had been no escape.

Her gun clattered to the floor and soon she was sitting beside it. The hunger was filling her up until she wanted to howl and beg for relief. Experience had taught her that there was no such thing as relief. The Blue Hands were experts at creating deep mental desires, and leaving her to dangle until she was willing to fight and kill to relieve it.

"No, no please," she begged. "I will not fight. I will not kill. You can not make me." She knew the only person around was Jayne and she would keep him safe no matter the cost to her. It made no sense, but since everyone thought she was crazy, so it didn't have to.

Suddenly she became aware that the water had turned off. Jayne would be out soon and she couldn't let him see what the Blue Hands did to her. Gripping the deck plating she pulled herself along, too confused to try to stand. She hadn't made it more than ten feet when the door opened behind her and she froze afraid to draw attention to herself.

Jayne felt good, better than he would have imagined he would after a cold shower and a bit of quality time with his own body. It was the closest thing to sexin' he'd had in a long time. He made note to remember that for some reason the shower was a much more satisfying place than his bunk. Maybe it was the smell of River's soap that still clung to the air, but he coulda sworn it was almost as if she had been touchin' him.

His smile and good mood lasted only as long as it took for his boot to bump against a large pistol on the deck. He dropped the t-shirt he'd been about to pull over his head as a shaft of fear shot through him. "River," he cried out in panic and took three running steps until he almost tripped over her shivering at his feet.

"No, please," her voice sounded strange and she refused to look at him.

"What happened, girl?" He knelt beside her and reached for her shoulder.

"Don't, you can't touch me!" She pulled back longing to be touched. "No one ever touches me. It is not allowed. Gloves, they always wear gloves. Blue Hands say no skin contact is allowed."

"River, honey, they ain't here." Jayne spoke softly. She was frightening him. Her voice sounded old and tired. "Come 'ere. It's just me." He reached for her to pull her onto his lap as he'd done the night before when she was haunted by nightmares, but she wouldn't let him.

"Please no," she begged. "They want me to kill." She had to make him understand that he wasn't safe. "And the penalty for touching instead of doing is too much to bear."

Her face was flushed and she could hardly control her breathing. If the big mercenary didn't know better he'd swear he'd caught her in the middle of gettin' sexed. "Shit," he ground out as he looked over his shoulder and saw his shirt and her gun in front of the door he'd been leaning against while he'd been…. "Were you in my mind?" It was more an accusation than a question.

"No, the desire found me!" Tears rolled down her face and she bit her lip to keep it from quivering. "Please help me, Jayne."

"What do you want me to do?" He was afraid he'd helped her alright. He'd helped her into a frantic state of arousal.

"I don't know." She brushed her fingers across his chest where she'd cut him. "They put these feelings in my head so I will do as they want. It is how they always do it."

He captured her hand with his, and pressed it against his scar. "Is that why you cut me?" He remembered all too well what he'd been thinkin' when cleaning his guns that afternoon before Ariel. He's mind had been wanderin' to whorin' on a Core planet and it wasn't only whores he'd been thinkin' about. "Answer me, girl," he grasped her shoulders to get her attention.

"Yes," she whispered unable to take her eyes off his. "I felt the need curl in my stomach. I couldn't drown it out so I reached for the knife and turned off the signal the only way I knew how."

"Oh, Baby doll," he pulled her tightly against his bare chest and massaged her shoulders as her body pressed closer to his.

"Help me, please," she whimpered. "I need, I need…it makes no sense." With her cheek pressed against his skin, her body folded and every muscle went lax. "Always before when I felt like this it was the signal to kill." She was being overpowered by the feel of flesh and it warmed her in places she didn't know existed. "You make it different."

"It ain't me, you're confusin' the thoughts ya picked up from me with what they done to ya." He tried to reason with her as his body reacted.

"No," she shook her head knowing she was speaking the truth. "It's always been different with you." She gently kissed the bullet wound in his shoulder that still had some healing to do. "Close, but different," as she spoke she kissed the tip of the slash mark her knife had made in his chest. "I fought to stop the feelings….or would fight and kill others." Another kiss and she remembered the three men she'd killed when they'd rescued the Captain and the hours prior to that which Jayne had spent in his bunk, sending passion flying in all directions.

As her lips moved along his scar, Jayne lost all control. "Not here," he growled. When he picked her up and carried her to their hideaway off the lounge, he knew he was gonna hate himself in the mornin' and she probably would too, but it was too late, his body was roaring with a fierce need. But no matter how much his need drove him on, he swore he'd do his best not ta hurt her.

"River," he called her name as he laid her on the mattress they'd shared the night before. "Look at me, girl." Her chin was cupped in his big hand as he tilted her face so he could see her better in the dark. "You ever been with a man before?"

"No, touching was not allowed," she whispered. Her eyes were dilated as she ran her hands over his shoulders.

"Gorramit," he grounded his teeth. She'd never been with a man and he'd never been with a virgin, it didn't bode well for the night. "You sure you want this?"

"Yes, but turn on the flashlight. I…I want to know it is really you and not them playing with my mind."

Any doubt about what he was gonna do fled as she spoke. He reached for the light he'd left sittin' beside Vera when he'd laid her down. "Oh Babe," he whispered when he saw her pinched, desire-filled face in the shadowy light. "I'm gonna take this slow as I can. If you change your mind, holler out and I'll try ta stop." He lay over her, holding the weight of his upper body on his elbows, but let his groin press against hers. It felt so good he almost forgot to breathe. Slowly he reached for the tiny buttons to unfasten the top of her dress.

"Just touch me and make the need go away," she cried out and arched her back, pressing her breasts against his wrists as he undid her buttons.

"I'm just gettin' to that," his voice broke as he pushed back the dainty material and exposed first one breast and then another. River's skin was pale and smooth and the most perfect thing he'd ever seen.

One arm warped around her shoulders to pull her closer to his mouth, while the other side down under her skirt to hook a finger in her panties and pull them free. All the while she was bucking her body against his and tiny moans escaped her lips.

He lost all sense of reason when his mouth covered her right nipple and he began to suck. The hand beneath her skirt grasped her knee to pull and separate her legs and then moved along a silky thigh until he found her center. She was warm and wet and quivering before he even touched her. When he buried one large finger deep in her, she jumped as if startled and cried out his name, part in pleasure and part in pain.

"I'm right here Babe. Did I hurt ya?" He felt the slight pop as he'd pushed too fast into a place that had never been entered before. He had a sick feeling he'd find blood on his finger when he withdrew it.

"Don't stop," River bucked against his hand needing whatever was at the end of this wonderful journey he was taking her on. She knew she could recite by memory the textbook explanations for what was happening to her. She could even predict what was coming next, but books and visions of the future were nothing compared to the real thing.

"Look at me," Jayne ordered. "And know this is real."

As she opened her eyes and looked into his, he moved his hand faster while rubbing his goatee over one taught exposed nipple. River gasped as the world stopped and imploded causing lightening to shoot through her. She threw back her had and tried to scream out his name, but only whispers and moans escaped her lips. Then Jayne covered her mouth with his and kissed her like his life depended on it, while holding her tight to keep her from flying apart as her muscles contracted and her body bucked.

"Not them, it's not them. It is all you, always you," she shivered and muttered as she became aware of her surroundings once again.

"River…" Jayne's mind went blank. He knew he should be askin' her if she was okay, be sure he hadn't hurt her none, but when she looked at him as if he was king of the 'verse and her hands moved over his chest and face, he couldn't string words together.

"Don't stop," she whispered. "I know there is more, I can still feel the need." Desperation gnawed at her belly at the idea that he might leave her with only the one small taste of pleasure. She needed to drive out the specter of the Alliance once and for all. She ran her hands over his shoulders until her fingers pushed below the waste band of his cargo pants. "I want to feel all of you, skin to skin."

"You sure you're ready, Babe.' He cupped her wet face and pushed his hardness against her belly. "You feel that? If I take my pants off, I won't be able to hold back none." Jayne was a large man with large hungers and he knew it. Right now his appetite was for River Tam and it was growin' stronger by the second, along with the idea that she was all he'd ever want for the rest of his life.

"You will not hurt me," she whispered and kissed him again.

"How do you know?" He hated that she might be inside his head.

"I just do."

"That 'cause you're a reader?" Jayne ran his hand through her hair, still unsure of his next move.

"No," she reached between them to unfasten his pants. "There is no pain in feeling the release, only in being forced to endure the curling passion and left with nothing.

"That what they did to you? They raped your mind and left your body to feel only hunger?" His eyes turned to blue slits when he thought of how badly she'd been treated.

"Yes," her voice cracked with pain that was quickly being healed by desire wrapped in warm emotions. Her fingers fumbled with his zipper but it was her turn to take the lead so he didn't help her. Finally she reached for the warm hard bulk that was under her hands. "Make it end, please."

Jayne's heart filled until it was about to burst. It was a feeling he didn't want to look at too carefully 'cause it had very little to do with the way he shucked off his pants and pulled her free of her skirt. It had everything to do with the time he took to be sure she was ready for him and the gentle care he took while he entered her, despite her pleas that he hurry. But it burst through him like wildfire as she exploded around him two more times before he finally let himself follow her over the edge, crying out her name.

River felt profound joy. When Jayne had filled her he'd started a chain reaction. When she'd come apart over and over again, it added fuel to that reaction. When she'd come apart one last time and he'd finally joined her, the reaction was complete. It had been like there was a shift in their bodies on the atomic level. Where before, he'd had too many electrons in the outer shell of every atom in his body, she'd had too few. When their pleasures had exploded together, his extra electrons had jumped shells and stable almost unbreakable bonds had been formed.

_**TBC**_


	5. Pivot Points of Fate

**_Rating: _**R – If it is worse than an 'R' let me know and I'll change the rating accordingly

**_Disclaimer:_** You know who they belong to and it isn't me

**_Pairing: _**Jayne/River and Mal/Inara

_**Precious Commodity**_

**_By Lattelady_**

_**Ch 5 - Pivot Points of Fate**_

Though Jayne's head had stopped spinning, he still had trouble catching his breath. His body was damp and plastered against a small feminine one. His nose was pressed into her neck and it felt as if he'd died and gone to heaven.

No one had ever accused Jayne Cobb of being a man of introspection, but at the moment he was lookin' deep inside himself and found only confusion. Kissin' River had made his insides tingle, though he was a man who never kissed, especially on the lips. Even now, just lookin' at her mouth, still puffy from passion, made him want to devour it all over again. It made no sense, just like the fact that sexin' with the inexperienced girl beneath him had been the best he'd had in his entire life. But worst of all he was feelin' all possessive and proud-like 'cause he knew was he was her first. He was a man who reveled in well experienced women. The ones that knew every trick in the book and were willin' to invent some as they went along.

He gritted his teeth and let reality reassert itself. He'd just sexed-up the Moonbrained-girl. The one who had taken a knife to his chest! So what if she'd had a good reason, it had still been a knife. It had still been sharp enough to cut through his shirt and skin. As long as he thought about her like that he figured he'd have the strength to could pull away.

"No," River whispered. She slid her hands down his back and pressed against his butt to keep him in place. "I need your touch, on the inside as well as the out." To emphasize her point, she tipped her pelvis tight against his. The quick movement caused her to suck in her breath as pain shot through her.

"Gorramit," he muttered and gently cupped her face while he ran his fingers through her hair. "Ya gotta let me go. I've already hurt ya enough." He'd taken her virginity and though he'd been as gentle as he could, he was a big rough man who knew far more about takin' care of his own needs, than others. Now he'd only added to her pain by trying to pull free too quickly.

"It is not your anatomy which caused the discomfort. It was your technique with a syringe and needle." She grimaced and reached her left hand down to rub her hip, while pressing hard against his bottom with her right.

"Huh?" he looked at her in confusion.

"My ventrogluteal muscle has been sorely abused." She frowned and pouted slightly. "The injection of antibiotics you gave me, remember?" she added and tried not to roll her eyes at him the way she would Simon.

"Well, let's see what I can do about that," he chuckled as guilt was pushed aside by a jagged need to touch her again. Shiftin' slightly he reached down to cup her rounded bottom and discovered she fit into his hands as if molded there. He'd wanted to hold her like that ever since he'd given her that damn shot. Now with them still locked together, havin' just sexed each other, it was better than he coulda imagined.

"Ooohhh that feels good." River whispered, as he massaged the sore area. She'd always been fascinated by the big man's hands. To feel them on her body made her go limp.

"It sure does," Jayne moaned as he felt himself begin to grow hard in her warm wet depths. His response set off alarm bells in his head. "Wait!" he blinked in confusion. "River, this is wrong." Though he said the words he didn't have the strength to pull away. Instead he forced his body to hold still, keeping them locked together. "It was bad enough that I touched ya the first time, but now there ain't no excuse. You're just an innocent young girl. Ya come from money and a good upbrinin'. I'm a selfish old man from an outer moon who wouldn't think twice 'bout slittin' a man's throat if the credits was good enough. Look what I almost did to you and Simon on Ariel!"

"I come from a good family?" She gasped in shock and gripped his shoulders. "You and I have very different definitions of the word 'good'!"

"You know what I mean." He glared at her as they argued, still pressed tightly together.

"I certainly do not. I may be a genius, but all I ever wanted was to dance, to be a ballerina. At fourteen I was offered a place in the Core World Ballet Company. It is among the top three in the 'verse. Over one hundred dancers apply for each position and they wanted me!" She nodded for emphasis.

"But it was not allowed. I was told, by my father, that Tams attended the ballet, supported it monetarily as an art form, but never ever participated as anything but spectators." She closed her eyes tightly to try and close out the memory of her father's words that rang in her head. "No matter how highly dance is regarded, it is considered entertainment. No one in our family had ever been an entertainer and I would not be the first."

"You wanted to be one of those dancers that wares them tiny skirts and dances on their toes?" Jayne had seen a picture of a ballerina once. It was on an advertisement and he remembered thinkin' the girl in the poster was the prettiest most delicate thing he'd ever seen. He pictured River's fluid graceful movements as she'd fought in the Maidenhead and things began to make sense.

"Not wanted to be, I was. They allowed me to take lessons with the company for years. It was considered an honor, but when I excelled they began to worry. When the offer came, I was forbidden to return." She laughed bitterly at the out-come of her parents' decision. "Instead I was sent to the Alliance's Academy where I was tortured until I was willing to learn to fight and kill. I wonder if my parents would find that more socially acceptable!" Anger flashed in her eyes and she trembled.

"River, that still don't make what we did right!" Jayne was gettin' angry. His good intentions were doing battle with his natural inclination to take what he wanted, and he wanted her. It wasn't any help that the girl wouldn't listen to reason. And the more she told him about her past, the more he wanted to hold her close and never let her go.

"You have not decided," she gasped in surprise as she studied him carefully. Her decision had been made, it had clouded her vision so she believed he'd made his when he picked her up in the hall outside the shower and carried her to the mattress they'd shared, but she'd been wrong. Now it was clear why she was unable to see what lay before them. He had yet to choose.

"There ain't nothin' for me to decide." He glared. She made him feel all kinds of guilty and he wasn't a man who ever felt guilt, _about anything_. Even worse she made him stir with emotions he'd never felt and that scared him. "'Sides you're way too young for me."

"In years maybe, but in experience I am older by far than you." She knew what was in her head, what she'd done and what the Alliance had made her think she'd done. There was nothing young and innocent about her. Now all she had to do was convince Jayne without horrifying him. Because they were far more alike than he knew and it didn't horrify her.

"You forget, I'm the one with the blood from your virginity on my finger." His words were rough and ragged, like the memory he carried of touching her without thinkin'. "You was innocent!" Though his intentions had been good when he'd tried to give her relief from the passions that had raged through her, without actually sexin' her, the damage had been done.

"Only my body was innocent!" She sounded old and tired as the words ripped memories to the surface of her mind. She would have to tell him the entire story. He had to understand before he could decide. "After they stripped my brain of the part that would allow me to mentally escape the feelings they fed me with their machinery, they searched for the one thing that would keep me under their control." She lay still and lifeless beneath Jayne. Their bodies were pressed together, but she didn't feel his skin warming hers. She was back in the locked rooms were she had been nothing but the Alliance's puppet.

"I was their new weapon, their toy, they did not wish to damage me, so physical persuasion was never used. Instead they would strapped me into their chair and feed my thoughts. Many times it was the scary monsters they wanted me to fight. That was bad enough, because there was no escape, but I wouldn't give in to fear. When they realized that, they hit on the idea of stimulating the part of my brain that controlled desire."

"Oh, God, girl," Jayne stroked her face and wrapped his arm under her shoulders to pull her closer against his chest. He was careful to keep her spread beneath him in hopes the intimate touch of their bodies would help wipe the dead vacant look from her eyes. Her vague words hours earlier had been painful enough but to hear her describe what had happened to her in detail ripped holes his heart.

"Time had no meaning when I was a prisoner in their chair, with sweat running off my body and wild frantic needs filling my brain. All I could do was scream until I was hoarse and my throat felt raw. I had no way to release the feelings that were created. They were cunning in the use of their mental stimulus, giving me enough to want, but not enough to find an end to it. One day they decided I was ready for the training to begin. I would have a session in the chair, then be taken to the practice field where I was taught to fight." She shrugged and blinked tears out of her eyes. "It was enough like dancing that it came easily for me. But best of all, if I fought hard enough, the roaring needs they had created in me would dissipate." She reached for Jayne's face and cupped his cheek. "There was never an explosive release like you gave me, but the gnawing feelings in my belly would quiet and I could sleep."

"Was there any way you coulda…well…ya know…dealt with it…ah yourself?" He was shocked at what he'd heard, but he was a physical man who had never been shy about touching his own body.

"I…ah…tried…once," she bit her lip as tears filled her eyes. "On the way to the practice field I tried touch…to…make the want go away. They saw…and…instead of fighting that day, they strapped me into the chair again…When they were finally through they tied my arms to the sides of my bed and left me alone with my skin crawling with need. From then on, they never left me alone unless my arms were tied."

"All the more reason I souldn't'a touched ya before and never should again," he snapped at her. His emotions were tied in knots from all she'd told him, but it didn't change how he felt about her. He wanted her plane and simple, but there was no plane and simple when it came to River Tam. The Alliance had seen to that. At the moment he wasn't sure he was any better than they were. He had to say somethin' that would make her hate him enough to pull away, so he chose something selfish and demanding. "Damnit, you're a reader, you know this will only lead to trouble. Mal and Simon will have my balls for breakfast if they find out what I did. The quicker we put an end to it, the better."

"Neither my brother or the Captain are cannibals, so you needn't fear for your testicles." She looked at him sadly as if she expected better from him. "If you want me to see the future, you must decide what yours will be." She tipped her hips downward to pull free and then tucked her body into a ball to roll out from under him. When she was beside him, she sat up with her arms wrapped tightly around her to keep from shaking.

"River…" Jayne was struck by a deep empty feeling as he rolled into a sitting position inches away from her. Before he'd always thought of himself as a loner and liked it fine, but suddenly he felt lonely. It took all his effort not to pull her back into his arms. He wanted to feel her soft curves and silky skin against his, but…but…

"It is your decision." She knelt beside him with one hand on his cheek. "You are balancing on the pivot point of fate and it is for you to choose which direction to go."

"Did you put a spell on me?" He couldn't take his eyes off of hers. They were so close he could feel her breath on his face. He knew if he pulled her close, as he wanted, he'd probably never let her go. He was confused and conflicted and it was drivin' him nuts.

"Despite rumors to the contrary, I'm no witch," she forced a tight smile. "But I am, also, no longer broken. You showed me what was on the other side of the precipice and held me together when I was finally able to discover what it was like to fall over it." She bit her lip to keep the tears from filling her eyes. "They made me an abomination. I can understand your horror."

"River, it ain't like that." Something huge and jagged rose up in his chest and threatened to break lose. "It…"

"You saved me," she whispered. Her hand still on his cheek and her thumb gently stroked his goatee. "It is enough."

"Naw, it was…just…" Jayne swallowed hard as fire burned deep in his belly. He had to convince her to git away from him. He was no good for her, and he was about to prove it by pulling her into his arms and slidin' into her again. He'd rather lie to her now, than hurt her later. "**It-was-just-sex**!" the words felt like ground glass on his tongue.

"You've decided," River's head came up and her eyes glowed. She smiled as she gently cupped his face with both hands and kissed him hard.

"Gorramit, girl, are you crazy?" He tore his mouth away from hers and held her at arms length. "Why'd you kissed me like that after what I just said to you?"

"I have been accused of being not quite right in the head." She ran her hands along his arms for as she could reach. "But I believe that is in the past. My present mental state could best be described as that of a reader. Jayne, your words said one thing but your mind shouted something else entirely." She grinned at him. "You have made your decision and fate has turned on the head of a pin."

"Oh God, girl," he moaned. His eyes slammed shut and his mind whorled as he pulled her close. His confusion feel away as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and hooked the other around her knees, keeping her tucked as close to his body as he could, he lowered her to the mattress. "Babe, I want you so bad," he gasped as he tangled his hands in her hair.

"I am yours," she rubbed against him. "Just touch me. I need to feel your skin against mine." Her words were lost as he covered her mouth with his and his hands stroked her, working their magic on her body.

…………………………..

Captain Malcolm Reynolds felt his eyes grow heavy and his head fall forward onto Inara's shoulder. As his body began to tip, carrying them both to the floor, he snapped awake and shook himself. He didn't know how long they'd been in the same position sittin' on the hard cold ground. They'd kissed and talked; then kissed some more until Nara had finally stopped hurtin' enough to fall asleep.

"Sir, can I help you get the lady back onto that empty cot?" A very young soldier dressed in the uniform of an Alliance private knelt beside the couple, a worried expression on his face.

"I'd appreciate the help." Mal nodded, but refused to let go of the woman in his arms. He didn't trust the Alliance, but that wasn't what made him hesitate. Despite the tragedies of the last week, he felt warm and content for the first time in years and he didn't want to do anything that would change that.

"Captain, I can't lift ya both. I can take her real gentle-like to that cot and then come back for you." He could read the doubt in the other man's eyes, and he knew that if he were the one holding the beautiful sleeping Companion he'd be leery to hand her over to a strange man to.

"Thank you, Private, but…" He could see the sense in the young man's suggestion, but looking down into Inara's exhausted face gave him pause. "Nara," he whispered and gently caressed her cheek with the backs of his knuckles.

"Mal?" she softly muttered his name as she fought to open her eyes.

"This young man here is gonna help you to bed, I'll be right behind ya."

The Companion turned her head and looked, with half-opened eyes, at the soldier who was kneeling beside them. "Private Manyon?" she questioned, unsure that she wasn't dreaming and they weren't back on the bridge working to free Wash.

"Yes, Miss Serra," he grinned and pretended he hadn't seen the intimate exchange between the man and the woman. Neither had done much but look at the other, but there had been something searing about their momentary eye contact that made him feel like a voyeur. "I stopped by to make sure you were alright."

She nodded and gripped Mal's shoulder as she transferred her weight from one man to the other.

"Thank you, Private," she murmured as he helped her up and over to the cot she'd shared with Mal the night before. "Thank you for everything."

"I can't say this afternoon was a pleasure, but it was an honor to work along side of you, Ma'am."

"He was my friend. It was the least I could do," she grimaced as she sat on the cot, stiff and sore in places she didn't realized existed. Between the physical labor from helping the work crew on the bridge and sleeping sitting up with Mal, her muscles ached.

"You get some rest." Private Manyon saluted her and turned to help the still injured man.

"You were with the party of men who helped free my pilot's body from the bridge?" The wounded man asked as he was helped to his feet.

"Yes, Sir, I was."

Ten feet from the cot Reynolds stopped and turned his attention to Manyon. "Thank you for what you and your men did for him and the help you gave Inara."

"She's something else," the young man looked at the woman who had fallen back to sleep. "I may be Alliance, but I'm not from a Core planet. I've never talked to a Companion before, heck; I've never even seen one before. I never realized…." He felt Mal stiffen and pull away from his assistance.

"You never realized what?" The older man's quiet words were at odds with his hostile expression.

"I meant no disrespect, Sir, quite the contrary, in fact. I never realized they were ladies. I always thought they were just high prices whores with no feelings a'tall." He nodded toward where Inara was sleeping and got the Captain moving again. "That one there has feelings that run real deep."

"That she does," Mal smiled as he looked down at her sleeping face. "And she can be mighty good at hidin' em."

"'Course, she is!" Manyon grinned and turned bright pink. "She's a woman. They like to keep a man guessing."

"Hump," Reynolds took a deep breath to keep from chuckling. It seemed the young Alliance soldier was more experienced than he'd led him to believe. "I never thought on it quiet like that before."

"I've got an advantage," the young man shook his head. "I've got five sisters."

"That would give you some learnin' where women are concerned, either that or kill ya."

"I chose to live and learn." The young private looked at the older ex-soldier as they stood on either side of the sleeping woman. "You going to be alright? Cause that Medic is only out for a smoke. I need to get outta here before he returns to his post."

"Sure, we'll be fine." Mal straightened the blankets that were at the foot of the cot and carefully covered Inara.

"She's the strongest, kindest woman I've ever met." Private Manyon shook his head trying to forget all that their team had had to do that afternoon.

"I'll take care of her, Son." When he said the words, Malcolm Reynolds realized they were true. He would take care of her, for the rest of his life, if she'd let him.

The younger man nodded, almost as if he heard the older ones thoughts. He looked one last time at the couple and left the tent. "You're a lucky man to have her," he muttered under his breath. "A damn lucky one, to love and be loved by a woman like that." It was something he knew a lot about, after all he was a man with five sisters.

"Nara," Mal called softly to the sleeping woman as he lay beside her and pulled her into his arms. She turned toward the sound of his voice and reached out to grip the front of his shirt in her sleep.

……………………………

Jayne held River in his arms, their legs were tangled together and her body was sprawled across his. He knew she wasn't asleep because her fingers caressed little circles on his shoulder.

"You git some sleep, Babe, I'm right here." He kissed the top of her head and knew that he was never gonna let her go. Bein' with her made him feel new and clean. He just hoped he didn't have to shoot Mal or her brother to keep her.

"It will not be like that," she muttered half asleep.

"You in my head again?"

"No," she smiled up at him. "Your thoughts are loud in the quiet ship. I would not enter your mind without your permission, though I did once. When Jubal Early boarded Serenity."

"You was the reason I slept through that?" His brows rose unsure of how he felt about what she'd done.

"He would have taken as much pleasure in killing you, as he did in beating Sheppard Book or striking Inara." Her words faltered, but she knew she needed to tell him the truth. "It was my turn to make a decision and control the direction fate would take. I kept you asleep because I knew you were important, though it was unclear how or why. The bounty hunter would have killed you as you tried to leave your bunk. It would have made him feel powerful."

He wanted to argue with her, but her words were too sure. It was obvious she'd seen his future and changed it for the better. "It's alright, I can hardly be mad at ya for savin' my life," he whispered and kissed the tip of her nose. He'd always been a tactile man, with River the need to touch was almost overpowering, so he gently stroked her back.

"Ohhh," she melted against him and caressed his sides working lower and lower.

"Easy there, girl," he smiled and shifted his position until he was lying on his side with his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Now turn over and go to sleep. I'm all tuckered out and you're too new at this for anymore tonight." As she turned he pulled her bottom against his slowly hardening groin.

"You do not feel, all tuckered out to me," she giggled and pressed hard against him.

"You stop wigglin' that cute little fanny of yours. I said enough's enough and I meant it." He tried to sound stern but it was hard when she felt like heaven moving against him.

"Jayne," she froze and looked over her shoulder. "You will not stop touching me will you?"

"'Course I won't." He saw real worry in her eyes and wonder what could have caused it. "Why would you think that?"

"When I was growing up, touch was always superficial, a thing to be avoided if possible." She shrugged and went on. "At the Academy no touching was allowed. When it was necessary, gloves were worn. Even the fighting instructors wore them. The deprivation of skin to skin contact increased the effectiveness of their brain stimulation.

"I've watched you for almost a year. You touch everything. At first it fascinated me, since you held me during the bank robbery and pulled me out of my vision of Reavers, I have craved it. Now since we have made love, I need it like breathing."

He wanted to argue with her and tell her that they hadn't made love, but he couldn't. Maybe it was because the flashlight they'd left burning for hours chose that moment to flicker and die, or because the feel of her body pressed against his in the dark made his blood hum. All he knew was that her words soothed him and made his heart fill until he thought it would burst.

"I ain't never gonna stop touchin' you, River," he whispered as his hands traveled over her body from behind, making her whimper in need. "I need to feel you just like you need to feel me." He couldn't make himself use the word love in any context, so he let his hands and mouth carry the message for him.

"Jayne, please," she moaned.

"I'll never leave ya wantin' like they done to ya, I promise." He smiled and rose up on his elbow but before he could roll her beneath him, she reached behind her and began to touch him intimately. "Oh yeah baby, ya got the idea." He rocked against her hand until he cried out her name and came apart with her gentle touch.

"Why'd you do that?" It had shaken him to the core that River had taken care of his need for her before he'd taken care of her. After all she'd been through she had a right to be a might selfish in her love makin'…in her sexin, he corrected in his mind.

"I wanted to touch you, to feel you like that." She looked at him confused and unsure of herself. "I could feel your desire…to be left like that is terrible." He heard the fear in her voice and he was determined to drive it out.

"Babe, I'm here for ya always," his voice was husky and his hands shook as he slid her onto her back and knelt between her thighs. His arms snaked under her shoulders to support her head in his hands. "Now it's your turn." He smiled gently unable to believe his luck at finding a woman like her. "There's other ways to take care 'a that need you're feelin'. Ya trust me?" He leaned over her and waited for her answer.

"Yes," she whispered caught in the blue fire of his eyes.

"Good," he grinned and trailed little biting kisses between her breasts and over her belly. As his kisses moved further down to the tune of her gasps, his arms slid downward, under her body until he cupped her bottom in his hands. "Perfect," he sighed in satisfaction.

…………………………………………….

High above Mr. Universe's moon on a huge Alliance cruiser, the Operative paced. One by one, things had slipped out of his control. Up until he'd lost the fight with Malcolm Reynolds he'd been able to see his path clearly. He stopped for a moment and backtracked in his mind. If he were honest, the control had been wrestled away from him when the Reavers had broken through the clouded sky. Up until that moment he had seen clearly what he was to do.

Now the only unanswered question was the Tam girl. What was he to do with her?

In the morning a structural engineer would go over that damned broken ship that was River's hiding place. Though he'd told the man to keep an eye out for the girl, he knew she was too well protected by that big mercenary. He would gain no information until he was face to face with her.

If all went as planned, Serenity would be in the hold of his cruiser by late tonight or early tomorrow and three days later they would be at Persephone. In that time he had to decide what he was going to do with River Tam.

…………………………….

Jayne woke holdin' River's naked body tightly to his. They'd both fallen asleep almost immediately after makin' love….his mind shuttered and stopped…As his eyes took in her sleepin' face, he grinned and let the words sink in: made love. He weren't ready to say them out loud yet, but if he could wrap his mind around 'em, he figured it was a start.

When he was with her, she calmed his confusion and made him feel whole. It made no sense, but he'd given up tryin' to figure it out. He remembered somethin' his ma used to say, 'that there was no right or wrong about feelin's they just was. It was how you acted on 'em that counted.' Well he'd acted on 'em and for the two of them it was for the best, now all they had to do was convince the rest of the crew that they was right.

"You worry too much and too loudly," she rubbed her nose against his chest and stretched.

"Babe, you sure know how to wake me up." He kissed her as she settled back into the warmth of his embrace.

"You were already awake." Her right hand moved out of the blanket and was searching for something up near where Vera rested.

"You're gun is where ya dropped it, on the deck in front of the shower room." Jayne ran his fingers through her hair in a way he knew relaxed her. "I'd hoped that ya'd be calmer after last night."

"Your decision clarified many things for me, but…" She bit her lip not wanting to say anything that would disappoint him.

"River, you can tell me anything." He kissed her nose and held her close. "I figured after what you told me last night, you already knew that."

"He has yet to make his decision," she whispered.

"He?"

"The Alliance Operative," she clarified. "Until he does my safety is in doubt."

"And you can't see what his decision will be." He'd gleaned that much from what she'd said the night before.

"I can see things from the past if I try. I can look into minds, but it is not something I find comfortable, though feelings and thoughts can shout at me and I can not avoid hearing. But the future is a long series of decisions. I can see the immediate choices that are in front of us, but not how people will act on them." It was hard for her to explain something she didn't really understand herself.

"Last night you said something to me about fate and my decision causing it to turn. Is that how it works?"

"I don't know how it is for others who can see the future but that is how it is for me. During the robbery on Lilac, remember when I pointed to the man who was about to pull his gun?"

"Yeah," Jayne remembered the cute face she'd made when Zoe wasn't pickin up on what she was tryin' ta say.

"I knew that man had a gun and that he was about to cause trouble, but I did not know the outcome. If Zoe had been unable to convince him not to shoot, things would have turned out differently."

"Does Simon, know about this? How you're seein' works?"

"No, I didn't understand myself until just recently. Things began to change with the fight in the Maidenhead. You helped me you know?" She turned tighter into his arms. "I'd never had anyone fight with me before, always it was against me. I would take a deep breath and pretend I was dancing to keep the horror away. But that time I felt you beside me, protecting my back. It meant a lot."

"I wish I'd known." He cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers.

"You know now." She smiled at him. "It was the beginning of the change for me. When I woke-up in the storage locker, everything had separated: truth, lies, thoughts that were mine and those that were others. I was able to differentiate."

"We gotta tell Simon and Mal. We gotta tell 'em everything." He knew he was askin' a lot 'a her, but he figured that if he was there with her, she could do anything.

"Ohhh," she sat up quickly, with her arms wrapped around her waist. "It would kill Simon to know what the Alliance did to me. He already has enough guilt for not getting to me sooner.

"You're brother is stronger than he looks." Jayne sat up behind her and pulled her into his embrace. "It can't be no worse for him to hear it than it was for me." He gently patted her and tried not to remember how terrible it had been to hear her describe her anguish. "Well maybe, we can play it down a bit, after all he is your brother. Brothers seem to have a hard time wrappin' their minds around anything that has to do with their sisters and desire."

"But what if it isn't enough? What if he comes for me anyway?" River didn't need to explain who she was talking about. Jayne could tell it was the Operative by her white face and fear-filled eyes

"If that happens and there ain't no other way, I'll kill ya with my bare hands if I got to." He was grim and serious and knew that if she died, he would too, but he couldn't let her be taken. "You ain't going back!"

_**TBC**_


	6. Waiting Time

78

**Disclaimer: **They belong to Joss and themselves

**Rating: R – The NC-17 version can be found at my homepage. I've tried adding to this document, but it uploads strange.  
**

**Beta: **TamSibling

**Pairings: **Jayne/River; Mal/Inara; and a tiny bit of Simon/Kaylee

**_Precious Commodity_**

_By_

_Lattelady_

**_Ch 6 - Waiting Time_**

_Chan Juin – _moon; lovely, (in ancient writings was used to describe a woman)

_Bo song _– beam, transmit

_Zhan shi_ – fighter, warrior

_Lang_ – wolf

_Zhen_ – precious thing

_Bao qui_ – valuable, priceless treasure, precious

……………………………………………………………..

River's hands began to shake as she sluiced icy water on her face in the dark shower room. She concentrated on the sting of the freezing liquid as it hit her cheeks instead of the pinpricks of fear that were hovering at the corners of her mind.

All night long she'd been warm and safe in Jayne's arms. He'd taught her the joys that a woman could feel when touching and being touched; now it was morning. _Serenity_ was still too damaged to fly and most of her crew was in an Alliance medical tent. The small ship was surrounded by a battalion of government troops and out there on the other side of the moon's atmo, between them and the freedom of the Black, was the Operative, waiting like spider with a juicy morsel caught in his web.

"Can't think about it, can't think about it," River chanted quietly as she dried her face and searched for something to take her mind off the impending fear. The edge of her towel brushed against her right breast. She was tender enough that even fully clothed, the slight touch caused her to catch her breath. She ached pleasantly in places that she'd always taken for granted before. When the Blue Hands had stimulated her to feel deep arousal, they had used only brain probes, touch had never been allowed. To find release she'd had to sublimate her desires by fighting. It had been the only relief she'd been permitted. On days when she'd refused to follow their orders, she'd been left strapped to their chair, her body shaking with need as they sent visions of scary monsters into her mind.

The night before, Jayne had changed everything. He'd touched her, kissed her, and teased her until she'd exploded with feelings, but he hadn't left her dangling. Together they had found what was on the other side of needing.

Just thinking about it made River tingle with joy. She tried to see her reflection in the mirror but no light penetrated into the depths of the ship. All she could make out was a dim outline of a girl. She squinted and leaned closer until her nose was almost touching the glass in front of her. She felt so different, she was sure the changes would show, but was frustrated in her efforts to see anything.

"River," Jayne called out and knocked once before opening the door. "I got ya some light." The battery of the flashlight they'd been using had burned out the night before.

"Ingenious," she smiled tenderly at the big man as he held out an empty blue whiskey bottle that he was using as a holder for one of Kaylee's large birthday cake candles.

"Yeah, that's me a real genius." He placed the bottle on the small shelf over the sink before he wrapped his arms around her from behind. Just the feel of her against him made him lean down and kiss her on the top of the head. He'd promised he'd keep his hands to himself this morning, but for some reason his skin craved to touch hers.

"You are my genius. You fixed me." She leaned against his bulk and liked their reflection in the smoky light from the candle.

"That's what you call it, fixin' ya?" He bent and rested his chin on her head, so his eyes meet hers, even if he didn't like the image he saw looking back at him. There he could see the difference in their ages; there he could see her elfin daintiness pressed against his hulking mass. "Never heard it called that afore," he muttered.

"You made up your mind last night, are you changing it?" She knew he desired her, but what they'd found the night before had gone beyond that, though only she was willing to put a name to it.

"I…" he hesitated. "It's selfish 'a me, but I want ya. I ain't lettin' ya go. You belong to me!" his tone left no room for compromise. To prove his point he slowly unbuttoned her blouse and slid his left hand between the edges of the material, until he held her bare right breast in his palm. Not once did he take his eyes off the reflection of hers.

"It feels so good when you touch me." She threw her head against his shoulder, needing him badly. He would drive away her fears.

"Put your arms around my neck, River," he commanded still leaning forward so she could reach him easily, as his right hand felt for the fasteners of her skirt. With nimble practiced fingers he made quick work of the button and zipper then pushed the full soft material to the deck.

"But I want to touch you." She would have turned around and press the front of her body against his, while her hands explored him, too.

"I know ya do, but first I get ta do this." He kissed her ear as he felt her lock her hands behind his neck. "Hold on tight, _Chan Juin Bo Song_, (Moon Beam)" he whispered the words that meant River to him, since she brought unexpected light to his soul. His hand slid down her right thigh and pulled it over his arm. He slowly rose to his full height, dragging her off the deck. All that supported her was her hold on him, his breast-filled hand pressed against her chest, and her right thigh dangling over his right arm.

River gasped as seeking fingers moved against her white cotton panties and tore them away. She was lost as sensations made her quiver.

"Easy there," he whispered gruffly in her ear. "I didn't mean to scare ya none. I just wanted ya to feel me touchin' ya and know it's real. Maybe it'll help if ya can see what I'm doin'." He turned them until he was facing the large piece of reflective metal that Kaylee had hung on the back of the shower room door to act as a full length mirror.

"I'd know your touch anywhere." She was mesmerized by what she felt and saw. The female in Jayne's arms wasn't a young girl, but a woman. Her eyes burned dark with passion. Her usually pale skin was rosy with need.

"That's mighty good, 'cause I plan on doin' 'a heap 'a touchin' and I want ya to watch all 'a it." He pulled her closer and lets his hands dance over her body.

"You are my _Lang Zhan Shi,_(Warrior Wolf)," she murmured throatily as she watched their reflections in the wavy metal mirror in the shower room lit only by a large candle.

Jayne growled and nipped at her neck living up to what she'd called him. "Let's see if the Moon Beam can be made to howl at the wolf." Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the large old towel hook soldered into the wall even with her elevated knee. With a feral grin he hooked her leg over it to free up his hand.

What had started out as an attempt to drive the fear from River's eyes and make her feel something other than the panic he'd read on her face, suddenly grabbed a hold 'a Jayne's senses and took him to a place he'd never been. His eyes were smolderin' blue lights as he watched his hands move over her body. He was excited, and edgy, driven by the need to feel everything. He watched her body shiver and shake to his touch. "That's it _Chan Juin_," he moaned. "Watch me. You like that?" he ground out as he licked the shell of her ear, while his gaze demanded that she answer.

She cried out and bucked against him, helpless to do anything but hang on tightly and watch as his fingers worked magic with her body. The Blue Hands had made her howl, but never like this, never in pure unadulterated pleasure. For them she'd moaned in fear and pain, knowing that there would be nothing at the end of their games but deep longing and if she was very lucky, death.

"Yes," she gasped and shook her head when he hesitated before touching her further. "Yes."

She was the loveliest thing he'd ever seen, in the half-dark room, wearin' only combat boots and a blouse that fell from her shoulders. She embodied innocence and all of his deepest darkest fantasies of desire.

"I…you feel…make me feel…" She'd lost the ability to think and this time it had nothing to do with crazy, unless it was the type of crazy that a man could make a woman feel.

He kissed her and loved her much as he'd done the night before. But this time he whispered all the wonderful things he was going to do to her. His words excited her as much as his touch.

Together they were caught in a frenzy. Together every muscle in their bodies was pulled tight until they vibrated with joy and together they cried out as they exploded.

Shivering and shuddering they slipped to the deck with their arms wrapped tightly around one another. Their bodies were damp with sweat and they could hardly catch their breath. Tears ran down River's face as she was filled with joy that she'd never known before. She was where she wanted to be. No matter what had come before or what was to come in the future, she would hold on tightly to Jayne.

Jayne pulled her closer. His body was shakin' and he couldn't remember ever experiencin' anything like what had just happened. He'd thought the night before had been an intense dream or a one time thing, but now he knew he was wrong. Somethin' about the way his body moved with hers brought him more pleasure than he'd ever known. Though he'd been dead right earlier, she was his. She did belong to him but he was gettin' an odd feelin' that he was hers as well and the belongin' went both ways.

"_Chan Juin Bo Song,_" Jayne whispered raking his finger through the hair at her temple, suddenly aware of what he'd done to her. He was filled with guilt at how he'd treated her. He lifted her face until their eyes met. "I'm sorry I…I…ah shouldn't 'a been so rough with ya, and ain't no excuse for the words I used."

"No, not rough," she gripped his palms and sniffed the fingers that had touched her intimately. "You treated me as Jayne would treat his woman. A wolf isn't always tender, but he knows when to be, like last night."

"River, that ain't an excuse. You been through too much to be used like I just did, not once, but twice!"

"You think I'm some delicate flower. You called me your moon beam, but moon beams are strong enough to make a wolf howl and you did howl." She kissed him gently remembering his deep-throated cry as he'd come. "They chill the land and bring on the night frost of death. Their soft gentle looks are deceptive." To prove her point she gripped his right hand and began sucking on his fingers.

"Don't…don't do that…" he demanded roughly unable to keep from watching the way she sucked and licked his fingers. It was enough to drive a man crazy to see her delicate mouth imitating a much cruder act. It was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen, but seemed plain wrong when she did it.

"It is right. Anything we do together is right." She had read his thoughts and needed him to know the truth about them. "I want the wolf, the mercenary; the man who fights beside me, the one who fights against me, the tender man and the rough one. They are all you. If you try to be only part of the whole it will destroy you and I will not be party to that. Better to leave you now than to do that." She put his hand down and sat very straight in his lap. Tears were running down her face, but she refused to give in on this issue.

"I don't want ta be like them that used ya." He pulled her into his arms. "I couldn't stand it if I ever treated ya like they did."

"You couldn't." River smiled and cupped his cheeks in her palms. "They used charming smiles and strapped me into their chair against my will. Their words could have been used in the most conservative of drawing rooms, but they raped my mind with mental probes. They never touched me, but they left my body shaking, hungry with desire that I was never allowed to satisfy."

"_Chan Juin_," he gasped wondering if she realized how cold and mechanical her voice sounded when she talked of the Blue Hands. "I just don't wanna hurt ya."

"You didn't. You knew exactly what you were doing. I was afraid and you made me feel something much stronger than fear." She shivered at the memory of hanging against him as he'd made her realize what she was capable of. "You deliberately placed me in a vulnerable position, where you had control of my body. At first I thought it was a test to see if I trusted you, but it wasn't. You were giving me the gift of your trust. You were showing me that you would take care of me, no matter what."

"You read that in my mind?" It was what he'd done, but he wasn't sure how he felt about her searchin' in his thoughts.

"No, when my desire for you is strong I can't read you, but I could feel it."

"Let me hold ya for a while before I gotta head out soon." He ran his hands through her hair and wrapped her in her discarded clothes to keep her warm. The musky scent of sex mixed with candle smoke filled the small room as they held onto one another for a few more minutes, putting off the inevitable start of another long day.

……………………………………………………….

This morning it was Inara who woke to the pleasure of seeing Mal sleeping beside her. It was something that had only happened in her dreams. She stretched and every muscle in her body cried out in pain. Her physical labor the day before and falling asleep sitting on the floor with him the pervious night had taken its toll.

It was when she slid out of bed to check on the others that she noticed the large blood stain on the side of her dress.

"Mal," she gasped as she pulled back his covers. His wound had begun bleeding sometime during the night. "Help, we need help in here!" She realized he wasn't sleeping but was unconscious. His skin was pale and clammy.

"Inara," Simon called from across the tent as Kaylee was helping him to a sitting position. "Check his heart rate. Place two fingers to the side of his neck…yes that's it."

"What's going on in here?" The deep rough voice of the Med-tech interrupted them.

"He's bleeding!" Inara gasped. "It must have started during the night." The blood soaked the waistband of his pants and spread over his shirt. The wrapped bandage underneath was completely saturated.

"Shit!" the Tech was across the room and pushed the Companion aside. He pulled a communicator from his belt and began calling for a Med-Evac. Soon the room was filled with Alliance troops. "We gotta get him outta here." The man began to sweat. The Operative had given orders that these people where to live. The Medic hadn't like it, but he'd given the medical care they'd needed. Now it looked as if it had been for nothing. He knew if the rogue captain died it would be on his head. "We gotta get him to the Mandrake. They've got fully staffed operating rooms and are close. They're in orbit of this moon."

"Simon I want you with them and take Kaylee, too. You know the questions to ask." It was the best Inara could do. As much as she wanted Simon to be the one taking care of Mal, she knew the doc could hardly stand on his own. "I'll stay here and see to ah…_Serenity_. You don't have to worry about a thing."

"All right," The young doctor nodded in defeat, knowing there was nothing he could do for his sister in the shape he was in. "I guess she really has become the ship, this time," he muttered, though only Kaylee understood the reference.

"Honey, you're scaring Inara, when you talk like that, she was locked in her shuttle when you had that conversation with Jubal Early." Kaylee was still fighting dizziness, but she'd do her best to get Simon to the Med-Evac.

"Don't let 'em take the Captain." Zoë looked around. "Please Inara, they can't take him. He isn't safe with them."

"Zoë," the Companion knelt beside the wounded woman's cot. "They're his only chance. He sat up holding me last night while I cried, that's why he's bleeding now. This is my fault."

"No it isn't, girl," the First Mate tried to smile, but it was hard with the pain that was in her heart. "Wounds bleed, it's their nature."

"Go with him please. Simon and Kaylee are going, but you're the one he trusts most in the 'verse," Inara begged as she watched them prepare Mal for transport. Her eyes filled with tears as fear clawed at her. "I have to stay and see to…well see to _Serenity_, but I don't want him waking up alone on an Alliance ship."

"'Nara you took care of my man yesterday, I'll take care of yours now," Zoë whispered as she fought her own emotions.

"He's not mine. He was always too stubborn to let me in."

"There, there girl, the Captain may be pig-headed, but it's what'll keep him alive now." The wounded woman gripped Inara's hand. "'Sides from what I remember the stubborn was on both sides."

"You may be correct about that." The dark haired beauty nibbled on her lip in worry. "How did you know, about what I did yesterday?"

"You two have never been ones to argue quietly. I heard what you did. For that I'm grateful. I also heard what he said. He had no call to treat you like that."

"I'm sorry that I had to use Alliance soldiers, but there was no other way." Inara sniffed back tears. "I couldn't do it alone."

"That boy who came in here during the night was a real nice kid. He was one of the ones who helped you. Wash would have liked him." Zoë remembered hearing that conversation too. "What he believes in, may twist my gut, but not the man behind those beliefs."

"Miss Serra, do you need help?" Private James Manyon stepped forward and joined the two women.

"See what I mean?" Zoë looked between the young Alliance soldier who had five sisters, and Inara. "It isn't the men on the line that ya end up hating, it's the ones giving the orders and sitting back in the safety of their ships while everyone else does the dying. Those you hate real bad!"

"I'll have to take your word on that." The Companion was still trying to come to terms with what she'd learned on Miranda. At this point she didn't trust anyone in a government uniform, even the men who had helped her remove Wash's body the day before.

"Private Manyon, this is Zoë Washburne. It was her husband…" She saw them expertly transfer Mal to a stretcher and the breath rushed out of her lungs.

"We'll take good care of him, ma'am." He gripped the kneeling woman's shoulder before he turned to the one on the cot. "Mrs. Washburne, may I be of assistance?" His deep blue eyes met her sad brown ones. "I'd like you to know you have my deepest condolences on your loss."

"Mrs. Washburne," Zoë muttered and bit her lip refusing to let the tears come. No one ever called her that and it felt good to be wrapped in Wash's name. It gave her a small measure of comfort. "Just give me a hand up, son. I can walk on my own if I've got someone there to steady me." She didn't try to smile, nor could she thank him for his condolences. She hurt too much, both inside and out. Her best friend needed her and for the moment it helped take her mind off of her own troubles. He needed her to make things as easy on Inara as she could and be there for him when he woke up.

"Miss Serra, my commander wanted me to give you this communicator. You will be notified as soon as the surgery is over. I know you are worried about Captain Reynolds. If you should run into any problems, please feel free to use it." The young man didn't understand what was important enough about this group of rebels to have drawn the personal attention of an Operative of the Parliament, though he'd grown to respect them in the hours he'd worked with the Companion. He'd heard rumors, but they were just too outlandish to believe. Whatever was going on, he had total faith that his government would set it to rights and protect them.

Five minutes later the Med-Evac ship took off carrying the unconscious Captain, Zoë at his side, Private Manyon helping to keep her steady, and Simon holding tightly to Kaylee. Inara watched until the ship broke through the ion clouds and disappeared, not even leaving a trail to mark its passage. Tears of worry and fear streaked her face, but she straightened her spine and wiped her cheeks dry. She had things to accomplish and she needed to be at her most Companiony. A grim smile tightened the edges of her mouth at the unconscious use of a word that had come straight from Mal's vocabulary.

……………………………………………………….

River and Jayne had their fingers laced together as they descended the steps in the cargo bay. Jayne had Vera slung over one shoulder and held the blue whiskey bottle they were using as a candleholder high above their heads to light their way. As they neared the bottom step, he heard an almost inaudible ping and knew River had clicked off the safety on her pistol. The unconscious gesture on her part made him hurt deep in his gut. It brought home just how frightened she was.

"_Chan Juin_, I wouldn't leave ya here alone if I didn't have ta."

"I will be fine." Though she said the words with as much confidence as she could, they both heard the way her voice quivered and that her breath control wasn't what it usually was. "You must see to the others and discover their plans for today. Give Simon my love. He must think I don't care…if it were me in there…nothing…nothing…would stop him…"

"Hush now. That ain't so. The doc wants ya safe. He wants ya ta stay hid, so that's what we're doin'." Jayne put the whiskey bottle down on an upended crate and turned her around to face him. "'Sides that first night, just after the battle, you was there keepin' watch on us all, when we was too sick to think straight, you were there for us."

"Jayne," she was hesitant, almost shy as she whispered his name. "I know we talked about it early this morning, but please don't tell the others, our family, my brother, what was done to me at the Academy. I couldn't stand for them to know I…"

"Ya told me." He caressed her cheek as he tipped her head so she was looking him in the eyes. It bothered him some that the others would have to know, but he figured it was best for her if it was in the open.

"I had to. You had to know about the dirty footprints they had left on my mind, before we became physically intimate." Tears filled her eyes and her lip quivered. "You had to know that I wasn't what I appeared to be."

"It ain't your fault what they done to you." He held her close and fought terrible anger that clutched at his throat. Not only had those men driven her almost mad in the cruelest way, but they had made her think it was her fault. "You're the one always talkin' 'bout logic. What you're saying just ain't logical. A mind is only thinkin', but what a body does that makes it real. You got any idea how…ah…ah…precious a thing you gave me last night?"

"Precious…" River looked at him with doubt.

"Yeah, ya know, _zhen, boa qui._" Jayne had trouble saying what he was feeling in English and found it easier if he slipped into Chinese even if they were words he'd never used about a woman afore.

"You're talking about me like you do Vera." She smiled slightly and ran her hand over the smooth cool metal of the gun he had slung over his shoulder.

"You're more important ta me than Vera," the words slipped out surprising both people. "Well ya are," he growled and frowned at his admission. "In all my years I ain't never…I ain't never been with a woman for her first time. If ya hadn't been so important ta me, it wouldn't 'a happened." His thoughts and reasoning were muddled but he knew River needed to hear the words, even if this was as good as he could do.

"I love you," she whispered and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"I…I…" he shook his head unable to say what he knew he should.

"Hush it is all right." She covered his lips with two of her fingers. "The wolf fights for his freedom. His heart has been free for a long time, but now it is not and it isn't easy for him because he knows that his kind mates for life."

Jayne put his arms around River, and kissed the top of her head. She felt so gorramn good in his arms, he didn't ever want ta let her go, but he had to, or they'd never get anything done. "You feel safe enough to walk me to the door?"

"Wait, look at that." She pointed to the corner of the bay where three body bags were lined up neatly in a row. "There are three of them, how strange?" Jayne followed her over and knelt beside her on the deck.

"One 'a them is the old kind, they don't hardly use them anymore. The body rots afore ya can get anywhere with it."

"Wash," River sighed and gently touched the outside of the thermal controlled modern bag. "This one is Mr. Universe's." She pointed to the bag that looked exactly like the first. "But this one, the odd one, it belongs to Lenore."

"Lenore, who the hell is Lenore?" The Mercenary frowned.

"Mrs. Universe."

"But she was a Love-Bot." He argued. "They don't die. From what Mal told us, the Feds didn't deactivate her, 'cause she was able to give him a message, 'bout the back-up system for gettin' the word out."

"It defies logic, but she is dead." River had unzipped the one bag and the beautiful blonde robot looked as if she were sleeping. "'The life upon her yellow hair but not within her eyes; The life still there, upon her hair – the death upon her eyes.' It is from _Lenore_ a poem by Edgar Allen Poe from Earth-That-Was. I wonder if that is how Mr. Universe chose her name." A small smile crossed the girl's lips as she gently re-zipped the bag.

"_Chan Juin_ sometimes your way 'a thinkin' makes me a mite twitchy." He ruffled her hair. "Maybe she was just defective; ya ever think 'a that?"

"Mr. Universe built her himself. He would never deal with defective computer parts. He built himself a woman who he could love and who loved him. When he died, she ceased to be."

"Now you're talkin' like a girl," he smirked.

"I am a girl." She giggled and poked him in the side. "Besides I can think of stranger couples."

"Oh ya can, can ya?"

"Yes, what about an ex-soldier and a laughing pilot? Then there is the doctor from the Core and the mechanic from the Rim. Let's not forget the beautiful Companion who supported Unification and a Browncoat Rim Captain whose business dealings are often a bit south of lawful."

"Those the only ones ya can think of?" He loved seeing the teasing sparkle in her dark eyes. It had been missing since before the Lilac bank heist.

"There may be one more, but the man involved is a bit slow and has yet to make up his mind."

"Maybe he's just worried that the woman will wake up one day and discover what a mistake she's made. She's so much younger and smarter than he is. 'Sides they happened awful fast and she was scared somethin' fierce and needed someone. He happened ta be there so she got all these odd ideas that it was more than that."

"No, it's not like that. I don't need just anyone. I need you! You are the only one who makes me feel whole and alive, the only one who can block out the others and let me be me." She took a moment to think. "It may appear that we happened fast, but I know I was always aware of you. I would catch you watching me with a look in your eyes that I couldn't read, but it made me feel things that I only understand after last night.

"What about the rest of it, River?" He wanted to touch her but was afraid that if he did he'd never let her go.

"The rest makes no difference. Age is insignificant out in the Black, besides I have nothing in common with a boy. I would be bored and he would be frightened. The other is even less relevant. When Simon said I was a genius he meant it. No matter who I am with, I will always be smarter. Though I suppose if I'd stayed with the Blue Hands they would have eventually bred me with someone of almost my equal and I would have given birth to a new…."

"No! Stop!" Jayne snarled. "Ain't anyone ever gonna be inside 'a you but me! You're mine!" His words echoed off the cargo bay walls.

"The wolf growls in defense of what is his."

"You're damn straight he does!" He cupped her face and kissed her hard.

…………………………………………………..

Inara had loaded a large basket with rations and supplies that River, Jayne and she would need for the day. She had Mal's holstered gun over her arm with his coat covering it, when a troop ship landed beside the Medical tent that was being dissembled.

"Ma'am, I'm Major Ngu and I'm looking for Captain Reynolds." A tall graying officer in the uniform of the Alliance Engineering Corps approached her.

"Inara Serra," her name slid from her lips in smooth unhurried tones, as she lowered the basket to the ground. "You've just missed him. I believe it was necessary to evacuate him early due to an unforeseen medical problem." She frowned at the blood stain on the side of her dress. Making it look like she was more worried about the material than the man.

"Did he take all of his crew with him?" Channing Ngu was fascinated by the lovely Companion. He'd read the report that the Operative had given him the night before. It was hard to believe that the smooth cultured woman in front of him was party to any of the destruction he'd witnessed on the video feeds. It was even harder to believe that she could be involved with a Browncoat Rim pirate.

"Most of them did." As she spoke she was aware of his men unloading their equipment and the medical personal loading theirs onto another ship. It was obvious that the guard was changing. "I take it you're here to see that _Serenity_ gets safely loaded onto an Alliance ship in orbit?"

"Yes, I, we are." He turned on his charm. "Unless we discover she is too badly damaged for transport off the moon."

"Then you and your men have a full day's work ahead of you. Captain Reynolds's boat is wedged in a hanger at the end of this landing deck. There is a crashed Reaver ship blocking it. I believe it will be necessary to clear a path before you will be able to tow it into a position for transport."

"It is my understanding that there is a touchy situation regarding a suspected Alliance escapee who refuses to leave the damaged ship." Ngu had been fully briefed on the crash site and understood what needed to be done to get the Firefly into space. If he could get some cooperation from the Companion it was possible that the charade they were all about to take part in could be avoided. His men weren't simply construction and engineering. They were part of an elite task force that was usually deployed into dangerous areas to build fortifications and open roads for soldiers that were following close behind them. Every one of them had ranger training. This was exactly the break his career needed. Channing had made the mistake of romancing the wrong woman a few years earlier and now he was growing old in grade. If he didn't get promoted soon, he never would.

"It was my understanding that the Operative had given orders that she was to be left alone." Inara smiled coolly. "Make no mistake about it, Major Ngu, if you or your men try anything that makes her nervous, you will be having to face your superiors with her dead body."

"Surely one young girl is no match for…"

"You really have no idea what you're dealing with do you?" She'd expected that the men in the lower ranks were unaware of what had really transpired in the last few days, but it gave her a cold sense of dread that high ranking officers would be easily fooled.

"I've heard some preposterous tales." Ngu stuttered to a halt as Inara just looked at him with cool brown eyes.

"Around noon the wind changes, all you have to do is follow the stench and you'll find the bodies of dead Reavers. Then you'll understand that they are not preposterous tales." The sights and sounds of that battle would often sneak up on her when she least expected and she'd find herself reliving it all over again.

"If I had some help from the inside…" his voice was honey smooth and very sure of himself as he ran a finger up and down Inara's arm. She was a beautiful woman despite her disheveled appearance and Channing Ngu had always been a connoisseur of beautiful things.

"Major you assume too much, too soon." She glared at where he was casually touching her.

"Then those other tales are true as well?" He gripped both her upper arms tightly and shook her. He couldn't believe that a woman of her stature, who had found herself on the wrong side of a battle with the government, would turn down his attentions. "The ones that say that the pirate captain was able to turn a Companion of the Alliance into a Rim whore?"

"I would advise you to take your hands off of me. The Guild takes a dim view of its members being treated like this." Fear curled in Inara's stomach as she tried to make sense out of what was happening. She was usually good at reading people. Her mind had been preoccupied with worry for Mal and the need to act in his stead. She hadn't been paying enough attention to the man she was dealing with.

"I want the girl who is hiding on that broken ship!" He tightened his grip and glared. It only made the Companion smile coolly.

"I grew up on Sihnon. I spent my formative years at the training house there and I am a respected member of the Guild. You can not intimidate me. Loyalty is one of the first rules of my profession and that loyalty is mine to give to whom I choose. I choose to honor the girl and the agreement the Operative made with her." She felt the reassuring touch of the scratchy-soft material of Mal's coat against her arm and the weight of his gun hidden under it. Carefully she pulled the large pistol from his holster boot and dug the barrel into Channing Ngu's abdomen. "Now it's your turn to choose."

"You're taking quite a chance, Miss Serra." He ground out, but let her go and pulled back.

"Put a communicator into my basket." She ignored his last comment and watched, still pointing the large pistol at him as he tossed a small black device in with her other supplies. "Now if one of your men would be good enough to carry that for me. Call us when you've cleared away enough debris to inspect the outside of the ship."

Inara leaned against _Serenity_ and tried to keep from shaking. The young man who had helped her with the basket had left and she needed to get herself under control. For some reason she couldn't get her fingers to loosen their grip on Mal's gun. With her other hand she searched in the pocket of his coat for his emergency keys. They would unlock the doors if the power was down and the touch pads useless, as was the situation now.

She worked the key in the lock and then pumped the manual hydraulic opener. Inara blinked as she stepped into the much darker cargo bay, pushing her basket ahead of her. Her eyes must have been playing tricks on her, because she was sure that Jayne Cobb had been embracing River Tam as they knelt beside the bodies of Wash, Mr. Universe and Lenore the Love-bot. Moments later, when her eyes adjusted to the change in lighting, she realized they were sitting together beside the body bags, but there was at least a foot between them.

"Inara you all right?" the big merc surged to his feet. "I was just headed out when we saw those." He pointed behind him to where River sat on the deck.

"I…ah…yes…I'm fine, but there has been a change in plans." She began to visibly shake and Jayne quickly picked her up and sat her on a crate before she fell.

"What the gorramn hell happened?" He'd never seen the Companion this upset. It gave him a bad feeling that she had the Captain's coat and was hugging it to her as if her life depended on it.

"Mal's wound opened sometime during the night and he began to bleed. They've evacuated him to a hospital ship. I was able to convince the others to go with him."

"He gonna be all right?" Jayne glared darkly. Things were changin' and he should 'a been out there seein' that everyone was safe, instead of makin' love ta River. He shook his head 'cause that was the second time he'd thought of sexin' her as 'makin' love'. She made everything different and new. It was scary and excitin' at the same time.

"He has to be." Inara gasped then bit her lip to recover her composure. "They say he will be, but they need to operate to find and repair whatever is bleeding inside of him. I've got a communicator in my pocket that is a direct link to the Operative. I've been told he will let me know when the surgery is over. There is another in the basket that the soldiers who are going to help move _Serenity _will use when they need to contact us."

"The dark man's minion walks in freedom. He made no promises, so he believes he isn't bound by them." River's eyes glassed over as she gripped her pistol. "I am out of his sight, but not out of his mind." Her hand shook and it was only Jayne's presence that kept her from raising the pistol to her head and leaving it there until the frightening specter that wandered the moon had left.

"What the hell…"

"She's right." Inara slumped in defeat. "Major Ngu is here with his men. They will remove the debris that has us trapped and inspect _Serenity_ to be sure she can be towed through atmo without her hull breaking. But he's looking for River. He wants to try and take her. I am unclear if he is acting under orders or on his own."

"He ain't gettin' her!" The Mercenary moved beside the girl and wrapped his arms around her. "Easy there _Chan Juin_, I ain't gonna let anything happen ta ya. I already told ya that."

Inara blinked unsure if her eyes were playing tricks on her or not. The idea that something was going on between those two was more than she could deal with at the moment. "I can't…" The sound of tearing metal made all three occupants of the cargo bay jump. They turned as one with three raised guns, two toward the doors. The first was a large silver automatic named Vera, held by an expert marksman. The second was an elegantly lined Hero-style side arm with a long barrel and a wooden grip. It looked strangely at home in the soft gentle hand of the Companion who took comfort from its presence. The last gun was a black pistol that appeared much too big for the hand of the small woman who was holding it pressed against her temple.

"Gorramnit River, don't you dare!" Jayne shouted. "I told ya I'd protect ya and I meant it."

"No more deaths," her voice hitched as tears filled her eyes. "I won't be taken."

"I know, _Chan Juin_, I won't let 'em. They ain't gonna hurt ya ever again."

"They're not coming in." Inara's eyes were pinned to the doors and the sounds beyond, but she'd heard every thing that had been said by River and Jayne. She wanted to turn and look at them but she couldn't make herself do it. She was frozen in place with her arm out, Mal's gun held in her outstretched hand. Its weight was making her shake all the way to her shoulder. "They're working on the wreckage from the Reaver ship."

"I'm puttin' an end to this here and now. Where's the communicator?" Jayne had moved in front of Inara and gently lowered her arm. "'Nara, you with us here? I need the communicator so we can talk ta the Operative. If he ain't gonna keep his end 'a the bargain, we need ta know 'bout it."

"Here," she whispered as she dug in her pocket for the item.

"That Mal's?" the Mercenary asked when he got his first look at the six inch stain of dried blood covering her right side and part of her breast. She'd been carrying the Captain's long brown coat held tightly against her. It had hidden much of the stain in the darkened cargo bay.

"Yes," she nodded and handed over the communication device.

"No wonder you was worried." He frowned.

"The minion hurt you." River stepped forward and gently touched the Companion on the arm. "He dug his fingers into you and shook you. He would have done worse if you hadn't been carrying the Captain's gun." She pushed up one of the older woman's sleeves until she'd exposed dark finger shaped black and blue marks forming on Inara's usually flawless skin.

"Please I'm all right. He wouldn't have…I…" She felt surrounded and didn't want to talk about what had almost happened. She'd managed to convince herself that she'd been in complete control but the doubtful look on the girl's face was eating away at her convictions.

"'Nara don't make me have ta ask River." Jayne shook his head at how stubborn she was.

"It was Major Ngu. His men had nothing to do with it." Her usual serene expression had returned to Inara's face. It appeared practiced and a bit forced, but it was there. "I wasn't ever in any real danger. I am a Companion. The Guild deals harshly with those who do not respect its members. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put these away." After taking a flashlight from her basket, she turned with her usual graceful movements and headed for the stairs. "There is one other thing." She looked back over her shoulder and smiled at the tall mercenary. "Don't ever call me 'Nara again. It's not…only he…just never do it again." For a small moment her newly returned composure almost cracked, but she held it together until she made it to Mal's bunk. Once safely down the ladder and surrounded by his things, she fell to pieces, curled on his cot.

……………………………………….

It took Jayne ten minutes before he was connected with the Operative. River was sitting at his side, but out of the man's line of sight.

"We got ourselves a problem down here." The Big Man didn't wait for pleasantries to be exchanged.

"I am fully aware that Captain Reynolds's wound had opened in the night, but I have no news for you as yet. He is still in surgery."

"T'weren't talkin' 'bout the Captain. We got a Major down here that's causing a passel a trouble. He's stickin' his nose in were it don't belong and threatenin' Inara. Now I figure she's gonna sic that Guild 'a hers on him and that'll take care 'a him good. But I still need ta know just how serious you are 'bout that deal ya struck with Mal. 'Cause I'm gettin' sick and tired of tryin' ta talk River Tam outta puttin' 'a bullet in her brain."

"She mustn't!" It was all he could do to keep from grinding his teeth. Channing Ngu was a fool and he'd been unwise to trust him. It was obvious the man had bungled the job. All he'd wanted him to do was look around, see if he could see the girl. "I will be sure he is taken care of. Are both women all right?"

"Inara's got black and blue marks from bein' manhandled and River won't put her pistol down long enough to eat. You tell me if ya think they're all right, 'cause I sure don't."

"It will be attended to immediately. Give my apologies to Miss Serra and tell her that I'll have the last of the medical personal contact her before they leave the moon and she can travel with them rather than the Engineering Unit." The Operative cut the link. Everywhere his plans were falling apart and he was running out of time. He had one small chance of righting things. He had to convince River Tam to return with him.

He dug in his pocket for the chip that contained her personal subliminal program. He'd sent a diluted version of it over the Cortex until she'd seen it at the Maidenhead. What he had in his hand was her original training version. It was intense, to the point and would grind into the girl's mind until he owned her. All he had to do was get her alone in room with him so he could send the signal and she would be under his control.

"Yes it will work," he muttered as he punched in Channing Ngu's personal communicator code. All he needed to do was keep to the bargain he'd made with Reynolds and get them back to Persephone. Then the girl would be his.


End file.
